The Bacchie Files #7 The Subtle Art of Ghosting

online dating

If you’ve been online dating recently you might’ve heard of a something called ‘ghosting’. You might’ve even ‘ghosted’ someone without knowing it.

 “Ghosting” or “slow fading” describes the ending of a relationship by one party who gradually removes him or herself from the other person’s life—via canceled plans and decreased communication—until eventually, all communication ceases. The relationship ends, though there’s most often no formal explanation from the “ghoster.”

Check out this awesome graph about female and male ghosting habits:

ghosting habits

I believe I’m being ghosted by two men I’ve recently been on dates with: The Moroccan and Just Jonathan. Both men have been texting me throughout the week and then as of Friday evening there hasn’t been any further contact. Nothing. Nada. Zip. The last bit of contact I had with either of them was a series of text messages to arrange a suitable time/place for a second date (separately and on different nights, of course).

re-directedI could be overreacting but my gut tells me a ghosting is occurring. Though maybe I’m not; maybe they just had super busy weekends working and having their own lives, and just didn’t find a spare 30 seconds to contact me via text. Also I noticed the other night Jonathan had deleted me from his list of contacts on POF. I had planned on asking him about this on our second date; especially as his messages were pretty flirtatious and I have no intention of sleeping with someone who is already planning his exit strategy via online dating, but alas I don’t believe there will be a date number two.


Basically they’re just not that into me and I should let it go. After all who wants to pursue something with a man who doesn’t take the time to check in on how your weekend is. I know I could’ve messaged them this myself to see how they were going but something (let’s call it a strong sense of self preservation and instinct) held me back.  Who knows what’s changed; or if they just began to listen to the honesty voice inside of them and decided to step away.

I have enough confidence to know this situation is out of my control. I couldn’t have done anything differently – the result would’ve been the same. My actions haven’t caused this, I didn’t do anything wrong. Dating is a game of numbers and probability; this time the numbers just didn’t stack up.


I won’t deny it hurts. You go on a date with someone and have a great time; you’re interested, you want to see them again. Then there’s follow up post date and even the early stages of planning for date number two; then all of a sudden nothing. Contact is broken. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve checked my phone this past 96 hours.

I’ve ghosted 2 men myself: Mr Swan and Cheeky Steve. I didn’t meet either of them in person; I gave them my number to get in contact with the view to arrange a time to go on a date. Then they got a little weird and I realised I didn’t even want to meet them in person. So I deleted their old messages and did the same to any new ones.

Therefore in light of this I thought I’d share my thoughts on how to ‘break it off’ in the modern online dating era:

  • If you give someone your number and then realise it might’ve been a mistake. Then it’s acceptable to not respond to messages and then delete/block the number.
  • If you’ve gone a date or two (I believe in second chances) and not been intimate, then by all means text the person and tell them politely why you don’t want to see them again.
  • If you’ve had more than a few dates and been intimate with someone then really a sit down conversation is respectful. The ideal response would be to send flowers (or a bottle of whiskey) with a note that says; “I can’t do this, I’m sorry.”


What do you think? Is it bad manners to just ignore someone? Should I change my behaviour when it comes to letting potential bacchies know I’m just not that interested (It has crossed my mind that it’s a karma for ghosting Mr Swan and Cheeky Steve)? Or should I just accept that this is the way it’s done?

Mr Grey will see you now #50shades #bdsm #kinkisntbad 

Kink isn't bad, Uncategorized

disney 50 shades 50 shades

I’ve been sitting on this post for 2 weeks now – ever since 50 Shades of Grey  was released.  There’s also a some negativity surrounding the movie and BDSM. Some critics are calling it domestic violence. I will categorically state that BDSM is not domestic violence. It’s where 2 consenting adults participate in a range of ‘play’ including bondage, whipping, spanking, hot wax, nipple clamps and more. There’s also such things as safe words and hard limits to give both parties control; and to ensure boundaries aren’t broken as well as keeping everyone safe. Many would argue that straight or vanilla sex would benefit from the use of safe words and limits…it would certainly be useful for that time your lover slipped into the wrong hole and told you to just enjoy it.

This article sums up BDSM in a quick ‘BDSM for dummies style’ list. 

I’ll concede I didn’t want to read 50 shades. I found the plot unbelievable: he’s mega-wealthy and a dominant, she’s a student and a virgin. I was turned off. It seemed a little far fetched to me and to be honest it sounded like the male character wanted a little woman he could control. But as the books gained momentum I became intrigued… Plus my bestie R told me I’d like the female lead Anna as she refuses Mr Grey’s ‘contract’. So I read them and they weren’t bad. They weren’t absolutely amazing either. I thought Christian was a bit of a wanker, he didn’t want a real relationship he wanted a submissive who would do whatever he wanted without having to expend any emotional strain himself. I did  like the fact that Anna fought against Christian’s demands that she be fully submissive to him. I also liked the healing Christian goes through to become 50 less shades of fucked up through Anna’s love and their relationship. 

If you are looking to read more BDSM fiction I recommend Roni Loren’s Loving on the edge series. It’s fantastic. If you like reading about big handsome dominant men in a setting that’s more believable her stuff is for you. Plus you’ll find all of the BDSM in her series is consensual – there isn’t one person doing something because the other wants it, it’s a shared passion. FYI I seriously wish I worked at the ranch in her series. 

If you like it in the dark missionary style then high five to you. Same goes if you want to be tied down, ridden hard and put away wet. As long as it’s safe, sane and consensual we’re all good here.

I went and watched the movie last weekend with a girlfriend and both of us enjoyed it. I still thought Christian was a bit of a wanker; especially when Anna asks him what would she get from signing the contract and he replies with, “You get me.” Really? That’s it? I loved the scenes in the playroom (with the exception of the final scene), I thought they were beautifully shot and Dakota Johnson is fearless in her portrayal of Anna. I completely understood why she felt so conflicted with Christian. She wanted a relationship with depth and love along with a side of kink. 

I’ll confess I have a fascination with BDSM. And I’ve done A LOT of research into it. I’m a control freak across all aspects of my life with the exception of the bedroom where I like a dominant man to take control. I have to trust this man implicitly; as anyone does when they’re about to become intimate with another person. For the record I’m a 33 yr old woman with a professional career, a loving family, and beautiful friends. I just happen to like a little kink on the side. For me BDSM isn’t about having a controlling partner; I’ve had those before and have been in emotionally abusive relationships (where the sex was very vanilla and to be honest pretty crappy), I just like a man to take control in the bedroom. Outside of that though I expect to be treated with nothing but respect and love.

Thanks to books like 50 shades and fantastic companies like Sassy Minx boutique (they bring the toys and the knowledge for you to learn more and shop in the comfort/privacy of your own home) the tabbo around liking naughty things in the bedroom is breaking down. I strongly believe (and have written about it on numerous occasions) that every woman has the right to a fulfilling sex life. If you like it in the dark missionary style then high five to you. Same goes if you want to be tied down, ridden hard and put away wet. As long as it’s safe, sane and consensual we’re all good here.

The bacchie files #6 Flashback Friday

online dating

Flashback Friday: Facebook never lies

A trip down dating memory lane for the latest version of the Bacchie files. No news to report on The Moroccan or Just Jonathan. The texting continues but no real dates have been set. I may have something lined up with another man Marky Mark (he has the muscles to match the real Marky Mark) next week but we’ll see.

At the start of last year (2014) I had a few dates with a man I like to call Sweet Dave. Sweet Dave was a nice man and for the short time I knew him he treated me like a princess. But there was no ‘spark’ no real chemistry between us. I dated him because he was nice and I felt I should give him a chance. He helped me realise my whole biscuit analogy, click on the link for more info.

Date #1

A walk on the beach with Coco and I. He was smitten, she was playing up and barking, and I thought he was sweet and nice.

Date #2

Drinks at the fabulously quirky Stingray Bar at QT Hotel in Surfers Paradise. It was fun but a little awkward as I’d brought the bestie R with me (she was visiting and we were catching up with other people after my date). Things began to unravel here as I was beginning to realise that I wasn’t really feeling it. Then I had a drink and kissed him (luckily I didn’t have more drinks as I would’ve slept with him – drunk Brooke makes poor decisions). The kiss was sweet, tentative, and gentle…..There was no Spark.

panda memeDate #3

A quick mid-week dinner at my fav Mexican place Guzman Y Gomez. Takeaway Mexican that is the closest I’ve ever tasted in Australia that reminded me of all the amazing Mexican I ate in America years ago. I knew it was a mistake to have a third date and I’m sure he did too. He didn’t pay for my $12 burrito (his only flaw – apart from being too nice) and really if your date can’t pay for your burrito you know it’s never gonna work! Of course he wanted to walk me back to my car and have a pash at the end of the night…..I wasn’t impressed; you get to kiss me but you no pay for burrito???

I finally broke it off via text message. Not my finest hour I agree – but as

Dear Davewe’d only been on 3 dates and just kissed (not slept together) I felt justified in my actions. I think a well worded text is much nicer than having someone “ghost” you. I got a very nice message back from Sweet Dave in response which was so very sweet of him.

Fast forward to a few months ago. I noticed he’d un-friended me on Facebook; no dramas at my end. It’s totally his choice and after all I’m just some woman he went on 3 dates who dumped him via text, he doesn’t need me a as a Facebook friend.

Any-the-who when I was inviting friends to join my blog page a few weeks after that his name popped up in the list (of course I didn’t invite him…that would be weird). However, I was intrigued – could I have been re-added without my knowledge? So I did some unpaid private investigating and found out nope, I hadn’t been re-added at all. It was just some weird Facebook thing. But more importantly the last post on Sweet Dave’s wall was he was in a relationship with a woman (you know people should really learn to guard their Facebook profiles). My first thought was happiness – Good on you Sweet Dave! I’m happy he found someone because he really is a sweet man and I’m sure he’s currently treating his girlfriend like an absolute princess. Maybe they’ll all live happily ever after – I hope so.

When I went to post this today I did a little check on Sweet Dave and his new GF Sweet Carissa. Looks like they’re still going strong: How awesome is that?

snow white memeThe epilogue of this story is that this right now I’m in a good place. I wish everyone happiness and love and I don’t envy those who have it. I smile at the sunshine, laugh at the rain and sing every chance I get.  I’m pretty much Snow-Freaking-White with the exception of an evil stepmother, living with 7 men and some dude hunting me down to kill me….Fingers crossed someday my prince will come!

The bacchie files #5

online dating

i should date meThe tale of 1 Weekend: 2 Dates

Finally I have been asked out and I went on 2 dates with 2 very different men last weekend! For those of you playing the home game we have 1 new player (the Moroccan) and 1 player from previous episodes (Just Jonathan).


bathroom selfie

Date 1: The Moroccan

Location: Byron Bay

What I wore: Singlet, harem pants and leopard print flats.

Who Paid: He did

Line of the date: I may be a PT but I like my women with curves (oh be still my beating heart).

I spent Valentine’s Day night alone and watched my favourite season of Sex and The City. It’s the sixth season when she falls in love with the Russian & goes to Paris before Big comes to rescue her. Don’t stress I wasn’t sad; I had a grand time watching my show, drinking my wine and hanging out with Coco Pop. I even had cheesecake!

The Russian reminds me of my date with The Moroccan. He’s half French half Moroccan , a part time personal trainer/security guard, confident, and he made me break all of my first date rules! First impressions; he was built.

cimo bird

Almost a deal breaker…Filthy birds

We met up for a drink which got quickly upgraded to a meal. First rule break; I never eat a meal on the first date. What if you meet and realise they’re a loser? Then you’re stuck with them through food… But there’s something about this man. He’s younger 28-29 to my 33-34 but he’s very confident. So we ate and talked and flirted. Then we walked along the beach where there were kisses. And more kisses. Then honest to goodness making out. Another rule break…. I don’t normally kiss them passionately on the first date. But the Moroccan has big beautiful lips & I knew I had to try them before the night was done.

Cimo workout

Hello muscles

After the beach and the kissing there was more…. But this woman isn’t one to kiss and tell. I will say he is an excellent kisser.

I feel he might be a short time lover not a keeper. We’ll see. He contacted me this morning to check in which surprised me. Also I have to remind myself of what I want.


Sorry about the mess in my room

Date 2: Just Jonathan

Location: Broadbeach Bowls Club

What I wore: Silk cami, printed shorts and black strappy flats.

Who Paid: 50/50

Line of the date: I really enjoyed spending time with you and want to go to stage 2. I want to see you more.


cute. very cute

He suggested barefoot bowls and to be honest I was nervous. I kept thinking of that scene in Bridget Jones edge of reason where she’s picking a dress for the law society dinner. Her friend turns to her and says,”No pressure Bridget, but your entire life’s happiness depends on this event”. Plus I’m really competitive and didn’t know if I would be able to curb my enthusiasm if I won!

I was so nervous I was early! He arrived and first impressions – cute, short (around my height), a little scrawny, killer smile, terrible taste in shoes (he had those awful slip on trendy laceless sneakers).

Jono fly

Almost like top gun

We grabbed drinks and chatted. He used the word behest in a sentence *sigh*. He’s intelligent, driven, ambitious, can fly a plane, and knows what he wants. We played barefoot bowls (and flirted – he smacked my bottom at one point) for almost 2 hours. I won once. He won the other games. He swore he has only ever played once before – I suspect this was on the junior Olympics team. But it’s totally fine; I was a gracious loser (this time).

The farewell was a kiss on the cheek and a hug along with the promise of wanting to see me again. Then he said he wants to take it to Stage 2….I’m hoping Stage 2 means dinner and making out.

Since the end of date #2 both men have contacted me to see how my day is etc etc. What do you think? Is there a clear winner here?

Also it’s ladies choice for date number 2 (or is it stage 2) with Just Jonathan. What should I do? Something active that involves ice cream.

My bestie tells me I’m still single until I get a ring on my finger (or an exclusivity discussion)…Hence I’m thinking that for now I’ll keep them both and see how it goes.

The bacchie files #4

online dating

My journey through the land of online dating continues…. I’m searching for a man who can hold my attention for more than 3 days.


But first a recap from my last post:
Of the previous players only one made it past the first week. Mr Swan asked for my number – I gave it to him and the first offline conversations commenced. They didn’t get far. I felt like he was trying to create an intimacy between us without really getting to know me. He wouldn’t answer my questions coming back with something vague and when I tried to delve deeper he’d change the subject. He made no effort to want to know me on a deeper level and was overly fond of calling my endearments – all the freaking time! Sweetie, beautiful, honey were all I heard. He never asked me about my life or why I was single. He was more than happy to keep it light n easy with that dangle of, “Let’s meet up for coffee soon sweetie”, always in plain sight. It felt contrived – like he was saying everything he thought a woman would want to hear. I was beginning to realise I just wasn’t into this man as I didn’t want to call him on his behaviour. Then I dropped my phone , it died and I lost all my contacts/messages… Coincidence? I think not.

Moving on…. This episodes players are:

1. Le Chef
The chef calls me cutie or princess. I don’t mind the nicknames – shock horror. The online conversations have been light and fun – we’ve swapped stories on jobs, what we like to do outdoors and where we live. I suspect he likes a slower pace in the getting to know you phase. We’ve exchanged numbers and he calls every day or so for a chat. I suspect he keeps it light as there’s stuff he doesn’t want to delve into to… But he won’t get the chance to do this as I am determined to get over my fear of asking the right questions to gauge if he’s a fit for me. Check out this link and watch the video for more info.

FYI I’m sure this is all common sense stuff but I know a whole heap of girlfriends (myself included) who keep meeting men and not asking these important things. My very smart friend Sharon tells me I need to be more emotionally open – reflect what you want to attract. I am craving a deep connection not a passing fancy.

He mentioned the other night he wants to come visit me (he lives approx 6 hour drive away). I was on the verge of telling him that sounded like a good idea and asking him where he would stay (not with me – I don’t want it to be a given sex is on the table until we’ve met face to face. Besides I like the idea that it sex comes back on the table we can go and fool around in his hotel room) when his phone died! Since then he’s had poor reception so we’ll see. Trying not to let my inner cynic have a field day with this.


2. Jonathan
I like Jonathan. A lot. There’s something about him that makes me sit up and take notice – other than being tall, dark and handsome. He doesn’t get a nickname. He’s just Jonathan. This man knows what he wants. When I asked him why he was single his response was, “because I haven’t met the right woman yet. I want to find someone who is special enough to give my affection too and is worthy of my love.” Some might say a little arrogant but I like the honesty….what do you think?

We’ve had conversations about those must ask questions. He thinks my dog is awesome (she is! He’s only the second man to mention coco – major brownie points, she’s important to me, I mention her in my profile). He’s intelligent – currently completing his MBA, articulate, likes to cook, travel, and has one of the best profiles I’ve read in a long time:


He works in security for a hospital (anyone who knows me is groaning – another security guard, Brooke, really? So sue me I like a manly man) and most importantly he has hair! Also he openly stated he rarely goes onto the POF app but contacted me as liked my profile. He didn’t reappear for days and confessed he only came on to check if I’d messaged him. Well me and his other POF girlfriends I suppose.

3. Cheeky Steve
Cheeky Steve is the first man who I think I’d need a safe word with. This man is not vanilla and my non-conventional heart desires this. I’ve been upfront and told him I don’t want another lover/fling, I’m looking for a relationship. He assures me he’s open to seeing where it goes. I think he’s full of BS . I’ll confess though I’m very tempted by him.

Dis- honourable mentions
A new edition to the bacchie files.

Do you remember my friendPauly – remember we dated for 5 minutes almost 2 years ago? Since then we’ve had a few little flings but nothing serious. We want different things so it will never work. I’ve vowed to stop fooling around with him as I want to meet someone special, not just someone to pass the time with.

Pauly thought he would try and be funny this week contacting me on the POF platform pretending to be a potential suitor. He then went on to slut shame me but telling me to tweak my profile otherwise I might attract the wrong men. Here’s my thoughts on this….


I double checked my profile with my bestie R and she conceded it could do with some cleaning up. So I replaced dominant in bed with – willingness to compromise, same same right?

Then there’s this guy…. Just what anyone would want to hear… “I’m bored, amuse me”.


People who can’t read my profile which clearly says I’m looking for a relationship for the long term….


I’m not a grammar nazi…. Much.


I’m in New Zealand for work with the day job for the next 9 days so I doubt there will be any bacchie updates but I’ll keep you posted.

Before you go…. What are your thoughts on my current suitors?

A Day in the Life Of….

Healthy is the new black, I'm human too

i ate it

I’d describe my usual outlook on life as positive and normally I’m all like, “Everyone walks their own journey. Don’t judge; it’s not effecting you, it’s all good.” BUT occasionally I see something that can’t help but bring out an inner snark and today was one of those days….

A friend posted this onto facebook about a juice company founders day of food:

Day of food My first thought was, “Good for her, I hear kale is lovely this time of year”. Then I thought, “This is why I’m not a juice company founder…I don’t like green juice that much (like at all) and WHERE is the wine?” Not to mention the lack of chocolate or cakes…

But then I got to thinking about MY DAY ON A PLATE: 

Thurs 16 Jan 2015 (Australian time) 

The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and I was fast asleep until….

5.00am – Ignore alarm.

5.05am – Stop alarm and get out of bed. Dress for circuit class at the park. EAT nothing! Saves me from throwing it up at class.

5.30am – 6.15am – Circuit Class. Also known as Hell.

6.30am – Walk dog quickly around the block and try not to die of exhaustion.

7.30am – Find whatever bread looks edible at home. Toast 1 piece. Smash some avocado on it with a sprinkle of salt & pepper. Make fruit smoothie/juice thing with frozen berries, orange juice & banana. Not that nutritious but it tastes SO GOOD.

WORK 9.00am – 5.00pm 

9.30am – Snack time. I eat 3 large choc chip cookies.

11.00am – Elevensies. There was a small bag of green grapes on my desk. Not anymore….

1.30pm – Lunch time WOOT WOOT! A slice of left over homemade Mexican Tortilla Pie. With a dollop of full fat sour cream (the full fat stuff tastes amazing) to stop the burning from the chilli powder in the pie.

3.30pm – Afternoon snack time. Carman’s protein museli bar. Basically a museli bar that isn’t covered in chocolate. DAMN! Who brought those?

4.00pm – Bonus afternoon snack time. I find a bag of M&Ms in my desk. Obviously a sign from the universe to eat more chocolate.

5.30pm – Boxing Class. I barely survive.

7.00pm – 8.00pm – Watch SBS Food salivating over Italian and Japanese food. Realise I’m hungry as I actually want to eat Japanese fish. I never eat Seafood – it’s like kale for me. Nice but no thanks.

8.15pm – Dinner. Another slice of Mexican Tortilla Pie (I’m sensing a theme here) with sour cream. Followed up by a pineapple flavoured zooper dooper for dessert which is just sugar syrup frozen to create the worlds best iceblock! It’s hot, I needed it.


9.00pm – 10.00pm – Chat to my internet boyfriends on POF to make them feel wanted. Fall asleep on my ipad dreaming about zooper dooper flavoured juice.

For the record I want it stated that I considered having a glass of wine after boxing class. However I could barely lift my arms high enough to bring the glass to my lips so I refrained. You can bet I’ll be having wine tonight though!!

How was your day on a plate? Did you also have Tortilla Pie or did you just stick with green juice? Did you have wine??

Julia CHild

The Bacchie files #2

online dating

laugh date Have you ever wondered if online dating is like The Bachelor the home game? The difference is that you don’t know what the other women you are competing against look like? Plus there’s no rose ceremony….Just a delete and block functionality.

Today in Brooke’s Bacchie land I wish to introduce some new players to the game…..

online dating picThe man without a face

Danny contacted me this morning. His profile name is BigDikDan…So much for mystery? His profile pic was of him with 2 small children (well at least we know his BigDik works) but then seconds later it was a cartoon. POF drives me mad that people can sign up without a profile picture. However I did have a nice, but brief conversation with Danny; I’d happily chat to him again – if only to request he load up more profile pictures. In the 5 short exchanges we had he didn’t refer to me by my name, he asked if I have KiK (seriously – I’m a 33 yr old woman – my cousin who is 13 has KiK) and then asked if he could have my number to give me a call. I haven’t responded….

why do you want my number For a moment there I thought I was being paranoid and a big ole scaredy cat – why couldn’t I give him my number? Open heart, open mind and all that jazz. If I met this man out and chatted to him and there was chemistry I would most likely pass over my number. Wait up! If I had met this man out I would know what he looked like and would be able to get a real gauge of our chemistry face to face – therefore I could make an educated choice on the matter. Also he’s only looking for ‘casual dating/no commitment’ and honestly that is not what I’m looking for. What do you think? Should I have given him my number? After all his profile name suggests I might have a good time….


Mr tall, dark and handsome Swan contacted me within 24 hours and I was instantly attracted to his photos. Great eyes, cute smile, potential beefy body. Plus he didn’t try to smooze me….A simple; “Hi Brooke, how are you on this lovely evening”  was his opening line. Simplicity gets me every time…I don’t need corny lines – I prefer real and direct. Of course it helped he told me that he thinks I’m a beautiful woman swoon! So there’s been a little chatting back and forth – so far so good. This morning something interesting happened:

Him: Have a good day sweety xx

Me: Thanks, you too. xox 

Now for the record I only do the xox for my friends and family. It surprised me that I wanted to send it back. Maybe it was politeness but I know it wasn’t….I’m interested to learn more about this man.

Before you all point the finger at the spelling error in sweetie – I know, I noticed it too. I’ll admit I have some reservations…

His profile is short and talks about wanting to find someone genuine who doesn’t expect more than he’s willing to give and he’s sick of getting his heart broken.

Join the club dude! This has raised a yellow flag with me….I’m not into damaged goods and his profile is pretty blunt. My gut tells me he’s been searching for love and finding it hard – however I worry about the ‘expect more than willing to give’…Does this mean he’s selfish? Only one way to find out – ASK!

Then there’s Brett. He’s a science nerd (seriously a medical researcher) who reminds me a little of my ex Tim (you haven’t heard about him – he was a good one). He looks like normal to slim build with longer hair (for the record Mr Swan also has hair). I met him on Tinder and he has a wicked sense of humour. We’re currently discussing the rules to a tickling contest that may or may not happen sometime in the future. He’s cute. He also has a little foot fetish.

Watch this space…Anything could happen! Plus I may have some on RSVP as well.

Thoughts….Feedback….What do y’all think blogmates?? Any real suitors there??

Happy Days

Happy Moments File, Healthy is the new black


Today is a good day.
The divine Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat Pray Love… For the record I didn’t finish the book, but I loved the movie & I follow her on Facebook so I figure it’s all good) had the idea that whenever you experienced a happy day/moment you should write it down and pop it into a jar – well she said to find a happy moment of each day and write it down but nobody got time for dat! Then on the bad days you can re-read them and not feel so bad after all. I love this idea so much…. Positive thinking to put your bad moods into perspective.

Instead of a jar I’m going to keep my happy thoughts right here – on the blog! Where I can find them.


So today’s happy moments!!!
1. I found my freaking passport last night!! This is a very big deal. I’m off to New Zealand for work later this month and despite Australia & New Zealand being almost cousins you need your passport to go there. I was positive I’d left mine safe & sound on the top of my dresser but then when I went to get it I realised it had grown legs and moved. I’ve spent the last 3 weeks searching high and low for it with no luck. Last night I was admitting defeat when low behold I found it hidden between corsets in my pyjama drawer…. Why are my corsets in there you ask? Because my darlings there are bed wear!
2. I made this yummy chicken salad last night. I don’t have a high opinion of salad but I found this awesome simple chicken salad on Nom Nom Paleo and I had to try it.

My instructions

  • 1 chicken breast steamed shredded or cubed
  • 1-2 apples sliced into matchsticks
  • Slivered almonds (toasted) or pinenuts toasted
  • Fresh parsely 1 teaspoon
  • Fresh chives 1 teaspoon
  • Cherry tomatoes or normal tomatoes quartered
  • Good quality mayonnaise (or make it yourself – whatever) to cover ingredients without appearing like you have an addiction to mayonnaise.*

Mix together and enjoy!!!

I grabbed a 400 gram chicken breast from the supermarket and steamed that baby whilst frantically searching for my passport. Then after it had cooled (well I was actually still looking for the passport and forgot about dinner) I shredded it. I had pine nuts because they were in the cupboard but I figure you could put whatever you wanted in their for some added crunch! If you were feeling more healthy you could even lay the chicken mayo mix on top of some fresh lettuce. It was delish! Plus I had enough for lunch today…Which I added a few chunks of Avocado in it as the avocado was looking a little peaky. I thought it best to eat now rather than waste tomorrow.

*Just a note to say unless your mayo is in-fact paleo made or a paleo brand it won’t actually be a paleo recipe. Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone if you buy a bottle from the supermarket like I did.

What are your happy thoughts this week???

The Bacchie files #1

online dating

Today’s Highlights are brought to by a sleep deprived 30 something woman who is questioning her sanity at entering the shallow shallow waters of the online dating pool…..

Another hard limit: it’s never ok to comment on my hair. Unless it is to compliment me.

Bacchie Michael had promise. More than 1 profile pic, has hair (I keep dating men without hair…. Hence I need to diversify), a job and is kind to his nephews. However this evening he committed a cardinal sin in suggesting a makeover for my hair….

I suspect there’s also a vague reference to helping me loose weight. Thanks Michael but no one, no one, tells me how I should wear my hair. Unless he’s John Frieda.

Then this morning I can across this eligible bacchie….

Now he comes accross as a stand up guy. Polite, well mannered, good grammar (Rob you would approve) but there’s a few yellow flags:
1. The freaking spider in his profile pic!!! Really? I hate spiders. Hate them. I’m thinking this is another hard limit.
2. He’s into motorbikes, I’m not. Call me lame but the only power I want between my legs is a man…. Or a JetSki.
3. He has no hair. I’d be type casting myself….. The last 3 men have all had no hair!

The search continues….

What do you think? Should I lower my lists of hard limits and open my mind?

The first 24 hours

online dating

It’s not even been 24 hours since I signed up to online dating again & I’m already inundated with eligible bachelors…. Or not. Today’s top 2 bachies are as follows:


I’m thinking I need to update my profile to include a few ‘hard limits’ of my own….
1. No eyebrow piercings…. Just no.
2. I get sea-sick looking at boats & don’t fish. Period. If you want a fisher-lady to join your fishing team – keep looking!

Also I can’t help but notice that the men who’ve contacted me this time all look very familiar…. In fact we may have chatted last time I used online dating. It’s time to expand my online dating pool …. There’s RSVP, eHarmony, Tinder & OkCupid to sign up too….

Calling out all online daters…. Which app/website do you recommend???

Online Dating….Reboot!!!

online dating

So I’ve decided to wade back into the online dating pool….. It’s scary  and yes I’ve been hurt before but I feel ready. Well no, not really. I’d like to have firmed up my body and be feeling fitter but the honest truth is that over the course of the years of my life my body is going to move up and down the scales, I will be fit and then I will be un-fit. Rather than wait until my body is where I feel it should be I am embracing how it looks now….Complete with spare tire plus extra curves and cellulite. This is me. Brace yourselves POF (plenty of fish…AKA plenty of freaks, here I come).

brooke pof profile

As they say in American Top Model…Here are my best shots!

IMG_7676 sucker for snakes OCT 14 NOV 2014 merci brisbane SEP 2014 halloween 2014

Wish me luck!

Who else is trying online dating??? Any stories to share??

Christmas all wrapped up

My favourite things


Can you believe 2014 is almost over?? Christmas was a week ago and today is my last working day of the year. As per usual there’s a lot of reflection happening at this time. I’ve got a year in review post coming soon but first I wanted to share how we do Christmas in Australia!

‘Twas the night before Christmas and the annual family catch up was in full swing…. Hats, laughter, wine, and food were the key themes…





Then the big day had arrived! Santa had been and even left gifts for the doggies! I was lucky enough to receive a BBQ (a must for the Aussie backyard), a beautiful vintage style locket with the message ‘life is an adventure’, a blender for fruit frappes/ tequila slushies, and lots of other lovely gifts from loved ones!



My families tradition is normally gift opening and then mimosas with a big cooked breakfast. However due to some sore heads we skipped mimosas and stuck with straight OJ and a delish fry up of bacon and eggs. Before a dip in the pool and a chance to try out the Christmas gift of the moment… The selfie stick!!


Lunch is a served late in the day… Cooked meats chilled to suit the hot summer day along with salads, more fizz (heads were less sore by then), ice cream cake for dessert and even more selfies as the afternoon went on.



Then it was time for coco and I to get our annual Christmas pic. But with the weather so hot the little princess wouldn’t budge from the floor….


Our day ends watching the family favourite love actually. Though this year it was voted to watch one of my dad’s new flicks – Transformers Age of Extinction. Because what says Christmas more than trucks that can transform into robots??

What about you? How do you celebrate Christmas? Any special gifts you received this year??

Breathe & be grateful

Coco Pop the Dog, Crossfit, My favourite things

Yesterday I watched my amazing friend Claire compete in the finals of a local crossfit comp known as Wodstock. They hold comps all over Australia and in Queensland they have 4 comps per series: Toowoomba, Sunshine Coast, Gold Coast & Brisbane. I attended 3 of 4 to support Claire who is an aspiring Crossfit elite athlete (she trains close to 3 hours 6 days a week) who I met at my box last year when she first joined crossfit babes Miami.

In the past year plus ClaireBear has gone strength to strength chasing her goals. She’s taken specialist classes to improve her lifts – they are a work of art. And has subscribed for additional conditioning from our coaches to get faster, fitter, stronger. On top of all this she’s just been named as a new coach at our affiliate Crossfit Babes Miami…. The only way is up for this girl. But most importantly she is genuinely one of the sweetest women I am honoured to call my friend. She always got time for a laugh and has a beautiful positive outlook on life. Something I strive to have… Though it’s hard on the bad days.

Overall Claire placed 5th in the comp which is an amazing outcome. The WODs were tough and conditions at each comp have ranged from cold/wet/fog/rain through to full sun and humidity in 30 degrees Celsius +. And yes all the workouts are done outside. It’s pretty inspiring stuff – oh and the scenery (the men’s divisions are pretty easy on the eye too ha ha).

So I’m taking a leaf out of Claire’s book and list all of the positive/wonderful things I’m grateful for:

1. Wodstock
Supporting my friend and watch her hit some pretty awesome goals was a gift. Having to watch half naked men run around working out was a challenge I was happy to accept – someone’s gotta do it! Channelling my inner soccer mom and cheering Claire on makes me laugh… Oh my I feel so obnoxious; me the novice crossfitter who hasn’t nailed her first kipping pull up, yelling at her to pick up the bar. The community of crossfit (I know you hear a lot about it) but when you see perfect stranger cheering a group of people on, most of who are wearing the fuck you pain face, it’s awesome. But the best thing about Wodstock is their chosen charity is Street Swags who provide a basic shelter for homeless people, somewhere they can keep safe (it’s covered and designed to not stand out. I.e. Attract unwanted attention, plus it rolls up so it relocatable and easy to carry). Homelessness is a massive issue worldwide and I LOVE this organisation that seeks to assist those who live on the streets with a right now practical solution whilst other companies work on helping people off the streets and creating more safe shelters for people to live. On a side note I read that Street Swags can provide a swag suitable for a family… Let that thought sit with you for a moment…. Gives you perspective. I’m thankful for my messy house.

2. This mornings sunrise. I don’t have a photo of it as I was driving home from Brisbane. I decided to catch up with friends for a drink/dinner which ended in staying most of the night. I grabbed a few hours kip on their couch so was very tired … But this sunrise took my breath away and I felt really blessed to experience that moment. Plus coming home to a very happy Coco Pop is always good.

3. OMG this video:
I love the visualisation technique right before the jump.

4. I kissed a man and I liked it. One of my friends last night was a former lover. We shared a few kisses before I left as he tried to convince me to stay. I declined. Who knows what will happen next time? It looks like my libido wasn’t dead after all – praise the sweet lord!

5. Old friends. Catching up with old friends from my life in Brisbane was a lot of fun. Plus we ate ice cream…. It was divine. And we laughed, so much laughter, about Me-Ghan, sushi, boring sky divers, fainting goats (how did I not know about these), and pet Eagles….

6. On Friday morning Coco and I got up super early and snuck down to the beach for an early morning walk. It was overcast and humid, rain was coming. There was only one other person there… Bliss. Just dog, ocean, Sky and me.

How’s your week been blog mates? What are you grateful for?

A burning rage #marklatham #mamamia

Me and my soapbox

Cor Cor coke Cor laughter

This is my sister Courtney (AKA lil C, penguin, moongoosey poosey, kitty or whatever other silly nickname I make up for her). She’s 5 years younger than me, beautiful, knows her worth and how to speak her mind (she swears there is a filter there somewhere), an accounts wiz, dresses way better than me (always has, always will), snorts when she laughs, has a wicked sense of humour, loves movies, is the best monopoly player, and is the best sister I have! Granted she’s my only sister but she’s a hell of a sister!

B & CCourtney also has a mental illness. She has social anxiety. At its simplest this means any type of interaction socially with other people can send her into a panic attack.

From when she was a little girl Courtney was a kid who hated going out to dinner or to a friend’s house. She would much rather stay at home. If she knew she was going out it would take mum and I to help her choose an outfit….Not because she wanted to be the centre of attention; but because she honestly didn’t want to go, and hated the thought of having to choose something to wear that someone might judge her on.

My beautiful mother says that Courtney and I are just different kids. Where I crave meeting new people; even though I get nervous about meeting new people, I also kinda like it; Courtney does not. I don’t get so anxious about it that I feel physically sick, or burst into tears, or don’t want to get dressed/can’t find the right outfit, or can’t make myself get out of my car. These are all things my sister has suffered through with her anxiety. depression

Courtney so far hasn’t had to take anti-depressants. She started seeing a therapist when she was 19 (I brought her a bag of marbles as a gift – black humour is an art in my family); and now at 28 while she may not see her therapist regularly anymore, she is by no means ‘cured’. She knows she’ll always have anxiety and does her best with the tools her therapist has given her. However if for any reason whatsoever she, or anyone else I love and care about, needs to take medication to help then there is no judgement here.

Today I read a post from Mia Freedman at Mamamia who was triumphantly on her soapbox in defence of women, depression, and anti-depression after ex-opposition (yep this guy held political power in how the country is run) leader Mark Latham wrote a column in response to Lisa Pryor’s honest, dry, and brave column about motherhood, depression and studying medicine full time.

You can read Mia’s words here

You can read Lisa’s words here:

I’m not posting the link to Mark Latham’s words. I refuse to give his heinous words more traction. Needless to say his column left me breathless with rage.

anxietyHis main focus of the article is:

  • Why should people with depression have kids? How does it make a kid feel knowing their mother is on anti-depressants?
  • People who ‘pop pills’ for depression are coping out on their responsibilities of adulthood.
  • His children are the best form of anti-depressant he’s ever found, what is wrong with Lisa (who has 2 small children) what she can’t see how wonderful her children are and therefore shouldn’t need anti-depressants.

OMG. SO much rage. So breathless with it!

So I say to Mark Latham and anyone else who has the misguided view that people who take medication for mental illness are coping out on their responsibilities  ….FUCK YOU! Seriously a HUGE BIG FUCK YOU*.

To the women out there who I know who are currently taking (or have taken) anti-depressants to help them cope with motherhood, life, grief, whatever…No one has the right to shame you because you needed help. By owning up to your struggles and going to get help in the form of medication makes you an adult and a damn responsible human being.

Tell me what you think? Or do you have a story to share about anxiety or depression as well?

*sorry about the swearing mum.