Life & Adventures of me. 30 something.loves to swear/drink scotch/sing out loud. crossfitter.I am not a Stepford Wife.

Day 3 Detox


It’s Friday, Friday, Friday!

Detox Day 3 can be summed up as follows:

  • Dog walk
  • Good breakfast (sausage and eggs)
  • More Chilli for lunch
  • DONUTS……

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Ridge Forrester is back tomorrow morning after 3 weeks away so whatever extra calories I’ve eaten I’m sure we’ll find ways to burn them off *wink.

Detox Day 2 and FML Days #FML

Do you ever have days when it feels like you’re followed by a grey cloud wherever you go? Everything seems so overwhelming and too hard? When this happens to me I call them FML days!

I’ve never considered myself as someone who is depressed but the last couple of years I’ve realised something….Everyone can have bad days or in my case FML days.

Today’s FML day commenced with my laptop dying…Seriously it just died whilst I was trying to do my stupid tax return (that could also be contributed to a FML day). Then my friendly neighbour dropped by to let me know my darling dog Coco had been barking again (there’s a WHOLE back story here….I’ll go into another time), then I couldn’t find batteries for Coco’s special dog barking collar and all of a sudden life felt too hard. I was seriously overwhelmed with tears.

Now I know you’re probably shaking your head thinking, “First world problems princess. Really no need to cry over split milk.” I 100% agree with you but on FML days it’s the little things that become BIG things.

Then to add further insult I was running late for work. I had a day of meetings in Byron Bay to attend to. When I finally got into the car I realised I was at least an hour late #winning.

Then something happened to me in Byron to change my FML day to a pretty sweet day. Everyone was genuinely lovely. Every single meeting was great – they were engaged and I felt like I actually made some headway with some new contacts too. The sun was out and it was a mild winters day. It was magical.

Byron Bay is good for your soul

Then to top my day off I caught up with an old friend who is just a doll. Her name is Julie and she works in the local railway station. She was telling me how one of the homeless men who sleeps near the station fell over and broke his hip and is in hospital. As he has no one to care for him she has made  a point of dropping in each day to check on him and keep him company in the hospital. Today she ran errands for him as he can’t move with the broken hip. She also told me how she’d donated some money to the local Vinnie’s charity because they always bring down blankets for the homeless people who sleep near the station. God she’s got a beautiful heart.

What a selfless gorgeous woman she is.

Before I even dropped into Julie I was happier, I could still feel the black cloud of the FML day loitering; but the sunshine was pushing through.

rose tint my worldI also managed to grab a final piece of my travel wardrobe too. I’ve been thinking about this top for weeks now after seeing it on another bloggers post. To my delight it was in stock, on sale and in my size….What are the odds?

Then I found these awesome sunglasses which were also on sale! Plus they are literally rose tinted lenses…I love them. There is no way my FML day could touch me now.

To be absolutely sure though I dropped into the supermarket and brought myself a chocolate bar. Yeah, yeah I know; it’s emotional eating. But it tasted damn good. And once I’d seen what my flatmate had left for the magical dishwashing fairy (that’s me in case you’re wondering) I knew I deserved it.

twix  dishwasher fairy


To finish my FML day I had Chilli and a BIG ass glass of wine! SO you could say that Detox Day 2 was a write off…Who cares at the end of the day I was happier than I started!

Do you suffer from FML days too? What do you do to combat them??

Detox….Day 1

So a few months ago I completed a 4 week long clean eating challenge with my old gym (you can read about it here). After I WON the challenge (modest, aren’t I?) I celebrated by treating myself to some lovely food and drink. I kept treating myself to all the things I wasn’t allowed to have that before long I’d slipped off the eating healthy wagon and was back to where I started all over again!

best friend

I tried a few times to eat better….I joked with friends I was on a farewell food tour and that meant I would have to eat everything that wasn’t on the ‘clean eating list’….FYI this included (but wasn’t limited too) the following:

  • Chocolate….Be it a candy bar (hello timeout I’m looking at you), a block (eaten over a few days), or even a pudding I didn’t refuse myself. I embraced it and almost skipped over to the supermarket for my morning ‘snacks’.
  • Cheese….Oh My, did I have some cheese boards with wine (and then more wine); which ended up in the ‘drunk munchies’ and me searching for chocolate to soothe my drunky sweet tooth.
  • Crisps….Glorious crisps! Delicious crinkle cut crisps or the thinly sliced, it didn’t matter which; I ate them all. Then the marketing geniuses at Coles reduced packets of my beloved Twisties to just .88 cents and in my mind that’s what heaven is like!
  • Ice Cream…Not even the fancy pants stuff like Messina or Gelati. In the middle of winter I’ve managed to eat bowls of vanilla and chocolate Blue Ribbon. Mmmmmm.
  • Take out…..Hello Hungry Jacks and MacDonalds. I haven’t met a hamburger I haven’t liked so these guys are my go to for fast food. I prefer HJ’s over Maccas for burgers but I like the fries more at Macca’s and don’t get me started on the total perfection of McFlurries. Needless to say I have been eating takeout at least twice a week over the past 6+ weeks.

ice cream twisties_cheese

The problem is my farewell tour kept going….I kept eating what I wanted and before long I noticed my middle had spread. My build is like a pear ….smaller on top with a big booty! Or you could compare me to a snowman. So as my middle spreads I get what I refer to as my ‘sugar baby’. My middle to lower abs take on a decidedly round look and depending on how full I was my body resembled that of a pregnant woman. A couple of weeks ago I brought new swimmers and whilst I love them (they do amazing things for my boobs) I couldn’t help but notice how prominent by sugar baby was. Of course I swore I’d eat better….I went out and brought healthy stuff and attempted to hide my bad stuff in my cupboard. Unfortunately I didn’t actually cook with any of my healthy stuff and as I was headed to Melbourne for a week of sales calls I just kinda gave in.

The other night I decided I had to make an effort to eat better before I jet off to Europe (did I mention I’m going to Europe in less than a MONTH?). The benefits would be that I’d re-teach my body good foods so would be less likely to eat too much ‘bad’ stuff whilst away; plus I’ve have the added advantage of a smaller sugar baby! All win wins, especially for those swimmers.


Today is day 1 of what I’ve been referring to as detox. I need at least a week of no processed food (OMG that means no chocolate), wine (Holy Shit….Am I really doing this), or takeout to help my body remember how much it loves good healthy food. I remember doing this last time and found the first week to be the hardest! In fact my flatmate told me last night that during the last detox I was a f***ing b**ch (charming). But seeing as she won’t be paying my medical bills when I’m older and still obese she doesn’t get a say in it!

Day 1 achievements:

  • I drank a whole litre of water before midday (winning).
  • I really, really, really, really want a piece of chocolate! Seriously guys I need something. I feel the sugar baby tap dancing in my belly demanding I feed it something yummy.
  • Last night I food prepped for today! Roast pumpkin, grilled chicken, mini mince patties (snacks), carrot sticks and celery. Prep is King. If I can keep on top of prep then I can keep eating healthy!
  • It’s now almost time for dinner which means I’ve made it through most the day without eating something that isn’t on the ‘list’.

I’ll keep you posted how each day goes….Wish me luck!

Is anyone else on detox? Or just trying to eat less krispy creams to fit into swimmers??

30 Day Challenge

30 day challnege

So back in May I embarked on a 30 day real food challenge with my old Crossfit Box: Crossfit Babes Miami (Australia). Basically it meant for 30 days we were required to eat real, non-processed foods. Not to mention there was no wine, no sugar (other than those found in fruit), no dairy (OMG! No Cheese), and no grains. It was a little bit paleo but not full paleo as we were allowed clear spirits (hello vodka) as well as meal options with wraps.

Now….I know in the past I’ve been a pretty big anti-clean-eating-shite advocate. I still hold true to my thoughts about under-qualified people writing books about activating almonds, baby bone broth, giving up sugar (entirely, forever) and so on (read my post here). Full disclosure the person running the challenge isn’t a qualified nutrionsist; however she’s sought advice from qualified professionals on what she should recommend as meal options so I’m good with that. More importantly at the information night for the challenge I didn’t feel like I’d fallen through the clean-eating-shite rabbit hole …Everything made sense: eat less sugar, move away from processed crap, reduce alcohol, eat more protein, good carbs and fat.

curves ahead

I decided to take on the challenge to address my ever expanding waistline and my devil-may-care attitude to food. I LOVE FOOD in a BIG way! But prior to the challenge most of the time I ate a meal I had uncomfortable bloating and I wasn’t feeling the love for food. If anything I’d started to become a little wary of food; wondering what meal I ate next would cause bloating. Not to mention the 3pm slump I was getting most days….For around an hour I’d be in la la land half asleep with an overfull tummy and mushy brain matter whilst my body processed my lunch. Not great for work productivity at all.

I suspect the reason behind the bloating was caused by not eating the right stuff. Hence I decided I’d try the challenge and cut out as much processed stuff as I can to address this. I promised myself that once I got to the end of the challenge if I was still experiencing uncomfortable bloating post food I’d stop self-diagnosing with Dr Google and go and see a real doctor.

At the start of the challenge all participants had a body scan to give a real result of weight, height, body fat percentage and lean muscle mass. My key stats were:

  • Weight: 94.5 kg
  • Body Fat kilograms: 46 kg

There wasn’t a lot of good news in the first scan. It was clear how obesely overweight I was with over 45kg of body fat on me – very scary stuff. In fact when I got this scan in April I weighed more than I did when I first started to overhaul my life almost 6 years ago.

I would like to point out some positives (ever the optimist) to the scan:

  • Despite this weight I am stronger and fitter than I was weighing the same all those years ago
  • I was ready and willing and able to turn this around.

Then the results at the end of the challenge….. It’s amazing to see what 30 days of eating well can do. My final overall stats were:

  • New Weight: 89.7 kg
  • Overall kilogram loss (what I actually lost in weight in on the scale): 4.8kg
  • Body fat kilogram loss: 8.9kg
  • Body fat percentage loss: 7.3%


Things I learnt:

  • You will become cranky the first week of eating healthy and cutting out sugar. It hit me on day 4 of week 1. I was craving sweet stuff (this hadn’t happened until then) and damn was a moody, cranky, snarky woman. I also felt very sluggish and had a headache! I wanted a chocolate bar stat! But I resisted and by the next day I feel a little better…The following day I felt good again. Note to flatmates or loved ones; throwing chocolate at me during this time will not save you.
  • The second week is easier. You know you survived and you’ve stuck through with eating the right stuff. I stopped missing chocolate and sweeties around then and felt much less homicidial….
  • I missed wine the most. So much. I missed the occasional glass of wine I would indulge in more than I missed chocolate or my favourite crisps. I made this awesome Paleo Shepherds Pie one Sunday night (recipe by Mr ‘Activated Almonds’ himself Pete Evans) and I can’t describe the excitement I felt at having to open a bottle of red to add a splash to the pie mixture.
  • Weekends are the hardest! You become lazy about food prep as you tell yourself you don’t have to work and can get something healthy from the cupboard whenever. WRONG! Forgetting to eat every 3 hours and little food prep meant I barely resisted an un-supervised packet of Mint Slices that were looking at me suggestively.
  • You can date and be healthy. I started seeing Ridge Forrester the week before the challenge commenced. We catch up for a meal 1-2 times a week and each time we were able to find something good for me to eat. From Thai to Mexican to Al a Carte we ate out a lot. Each time I choose the healthiest thing I could and also asked for more salad/veggies over chips.
  • Eating healthy isn’t any more expensive than my usual shopping for the week (not to mention my little Hungry Jacks or Maccas burger treats I used to indulge in every week). My first week I spent close to $200 in food getting ready for the all the snacks and meals I would need to cook. Each week after I spent between $70 – $100 which is around what I normally spend. The most expensive items were fruit and vegetables. My tip: buy what’s in season, go to farmers markets, shop at the fruit and veg shop not the major supermarkets (9/10 times these shops are cheaper and better value for money). I’ll confess I didn’t eat organic; that would have been more expensive and I know it’s the best for you but baby steps….
  • I’m not a saint and so I did have the occasional glass of vodka, sparkling water and fresh lime. But I was super careful to not get drunk as I know I get the ‘drunk’ munchies and would end up eating something naughty.
  • You can actually buy take out and not get fries (who knew?). One Saturday night I knew I’d be out and about and was concerned about eating the wrong thing. So I packed myself a bag full of challenge approved food (PS. I’m yet to declare my undying love of almonds but I eat them) and off I went. I even made myself a yummy looking grilled steak wrap. Can you imagine my horror when I realised I left the bag at a girlfriends house? It was late at night and with little food options I hit the drive-through at Maccas and got one of their new wraps – there’s very little nutrition in them but at least it’s grilled, there’s some soggy lettuce, and I didn’t get any extras (Even though I had to hold back from requesting fries when they asked if I wanted anything else)!
  • I had 2 amazing lunches at 2 beautiful restaurants. Both times I chose to eat the dish with the most protein (duck at the first lunch, steak at the second). I avoided bread and dips if there were entrees, however I did indulge with a glass or 2 of red wine and dessert. The dessert at lunch 1 was a divine chocolate ribbon. The dessert at lunch 2 was a mini slice of coconut ice. I enjoyed every mouthful of those lunches knowing they were a special treat.
  • We were told often by the coaches running the challenge that we were just 3 hours from making the right food decision. That meant if we slipped up we just had to get back on track with our next meal. After my amazing lunch 1 I had salad for dinner with a girlfriend. After lunch 2 I had a farmhouse vegetable soup and added my required chicken protein on top. In the past I probably would’ve had takeout on the way home followed by a packet of crisps sitting on my couch.
  • Tell everyone you’re doing a challenge/changing your eating habits, the more people you tell the more real it becomes! Make sure you surround yourself with people who’ll support you through changing your eating. It’s clichéd but it’s true. We were buddied up with another challenge participant to help us out. On top of that I would text my trainer Claire to check in on something I wanted to eat. I was so excited one night; convinced I had found whole egg mayonnaise challenge friendly, I sent her a screen shot of the ingredients and asked what onion sugar was? She came back with, “babe, there’s a comma in between them. You can’t have it. It has added sugar”.
  • Learn to love cooking. Yes there are fully prepped meal companies out there (Caveman Kitchen, Performance eating both offer good paleo style meals in my neck of the woods) but you should really try cooking some stuff yourself. At the start of the challenge the owner from the paleo café Caffe Republic came and showed us how to make paleo friendly salad as well as give us cooking tips. On that note invest in a slow cooker for the cooler months; coming home to food already cooked will help with the cravings too. I used to spend close to 4-5 hours in the kitchen on a Sunday prepping food for my week. I found some great (and easy) recipes on nom nom paleo which helped me keep meals interesting.


I’ve always seen the challenge as a great way to kick start eating healthy and educating myself on the right foods to eat. I’m now determined to stick to eating as healthy as I can with the occasional treat (80/20 is the plan). I know food prep is king and being organised is really important – you’re not going to make a good choice when you’re hungry; you want the food, all the food NOW.  This is just the start of my journey, I know I have more work ahead of me to be more healthy and keep kicking fitness goals (did I mention I improved on all my fitness testing).

Allure at Currumbin 

I’m sitting in bed munching on TV Snacks. It’s 4am and it is bliss. Ridge Forrester has family staying over so we’re having a rare Saturday night apart but I’m totally down with that…. He wouldn’t let me have food in bed! 


On Thursday Mr Forrester suggested we go to Allure at Currumbin for dinner date night on Friday. We’d both heard good things about this restaurant and after spotting deep fried Camembert on the menu I was sold.

Allure is an award winning French restaurant set on a side  street (read: no view) in Currumbin, Gold Coast, Queensland. French chic elegance is the restaurants theme with an intimate layout featuring white linen tablecloths, black chairs and white sideboards.

What I wore: Witchery zebra print maxi dress, last year. You might remember it as the outfit du jour for my night at the Opera last year. Complete with blazer and black ankle booties.

He wore: grey wash jeans, collared shirt, lace up skate shoes, and my favourite Polo Red cologne. 

We ate:  

 Starter (to share): deep friend Camembert cheese with cranberry sauce and a strip of basil/balsamic dressing for extra flavour. Generous chunks of this cheese deep fried to bring out its creaminess. The cranberry sauce was sweet but so a small dollop was all you needed. 


B: a perfectly cooked medium eye fillet Mignon with steamed vegetables and potato gratin; finished with a red wine jus. I find the older I get the more I enjoy a steak that is cooked to medium or less. To order this tender cut of meat to be cooked longer than medium should be considered a crime. 

RF: a divine duck risotto rich and flavoursome with truffle oil. The duck was shredded through the rice with my favourite porcini mushroom. FYI the smell of mushrooms cooking turns my stomach but after trying porcini ones once at an Italian cooking class I love their depth of flavour so much I don’t mind the cooking smells.  The best hot, wet rice I’ve tried in a while (yes we shared our dishes with each other). 


B:  I am still dreaming over this creme brûlée. I always study a menu dessert first and when I saw the brûlée I knew what I had to have. The brandy snap was sweet and had a great crunch. The custard was creamy and the first chocolate brûlée I’d tried. But it’s all about the crack of the burnt sugar crust when you tap it for me and this didn’t disappoint. The bitter burnt sugar crust a lovely compliment to the smooth custard. 
  RF: in between entree and main we were given a fresh watermelon and mint sorbet to cleanse our palates. RF fell so in love with this!  When he spotted sorbet on the menu he had to have it. With 5 different sorbet flavours in a edible toffee basket he was in heaven. The sorbets were fresh and juicy featuring lemon, mandarin, kiwi fruit, watermelon and mango flavours. Though his absolute favourite thing was the hand spun toffee basket. 

Overall I’d rate allure a 8/10. The meal was lovely and service very attentive. The hero of my meal was that divine brûlée; however I felt the sugar crust could’ve been caramelised some more in the middle of the custard. Additionally the menu is very seafood focused to take advantage of the fresh seafood available on the coast… However if you’re a non seafood lover you’d struggle to find a dish without it. I think allure will be our new favourite date night restaurant. 

What about you? Do you have a favourite date night place to go to? 

I heart Weekend 

on Saturday night Ridge Forrester had date night for the Cooly Rocks On Festival. 

Cooly Rocks on is Austrslia’s largest 1950s festival complete with rock n roll dancers, fashion and some serious muscle cars. 

Did I mention that we’re now calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend AND we’re planning a mini-break soon to getaway just us. #swoon.

Festival pics & our official Instagram couple photo: 





 After a few red wines (a gentle Yarra Valley Pinot Noir) we ended up at a food truck selling pulled pork rolls….omg they were so good! 

On my way home Sunday I was inspired to make my own pulled pork in the slow cooker! I found a fabulous sauce recipe here. The results were impressive…. I’ve had a simple slider with the pulled pork and slaw for breakfast & dinner 2 days in a row. Tomorrow I’m planning pulled pork tacos and then fajitas for Wednesday night date night. 




 I’ve got so much pork I need suggestions fog another 3 meals….. What do you recommend? 

Ps. How was your weekend? 

Product Review and why massage’s are the best ever

I was asked to review a new product to the Sassy Minx Boutique Range – the kama sutra massage oil candle. Here’s my thoughts….

massage catI love getting full body massages….Let’s face it who doesn’t? Getting a massage is the epitome of decadence, am I right? Be it sensual, relaxing or remedial you always feel amazing afterwards. The problem is with our busy, busy lives we rarely have the time (or money) to indulge in such delights.

My personal favourite type of massage is a sensual one. The feeling of your lover’s hands rubbing all over you with oils is so very erotic and tantalising. You can imagine my utter delight when I came across this little gem a few weeks ago whilst hosting a Sassy Minx 50 Shades of Grey Party. The Kama Sutra Massage Candle combines a divine tropical scent (I see balmy nights on a beach in Hawaii with a private cabana for my lover and I when I smell it) and body oils in the wax for you use as the ultimate at home massage tool.

kama sutra candle

I suggest the following steps to enjoy the candle the way it was intended:

  • First you light the candle to melt the wax – this takes approximately 15-20 minutes. Use this time wisely, set up the room in readiness for your massage. You can go professional with a massage table but a bed will also work perfectly. Taking the time to set up will also heighten the anticipation of what’s to come after the massage.
  • Once the wax is melted blow out the flame and let it cool for a moment. Then disrobe (if you haven’t already) and lay face down to let your lover’s hands make you feel good.
  • The wax doesn’t burn at all so you can relax whilst you get treated to a decadent massage of your shoulders, back, hips, thighs, calves and feet. Lovers’ now is your chance to tease…Brushing against his/her nipples as you stroke down their back, whispered fingers between their legs. Anything that drives your significant other wild.
  • Once your back is relaxed you can turn over and the real fun begins….


I love my candle; Ridge Forrester and I used the new one last night for the first time. The massage was perfect and what followed after was even better.  I woke up this morning with him wrapped around me and the scent of tropical nights in Hawaii lingering in my bedroom. I foresee a lot of massages in our future.

kama sutra candlesImportant Info:

  • The oil in the wax isn’t an essential oil (it’s a mix of coconut oil, shea butter and vitamin e)… But it smells amazing and it didn’t irritate my sensitive skin. If you’re concerned about this to be on the safe side I recommend doing a test spot on your arm before proceeding forward.
  • The candle comes in a pretty little tin with a spout on one end…Makes it easier for your lover to pour the oil directly onto your skin.
  • Doesn’t use the oil as a lubricant or for that matter insert the oil in any special places, there may be adverse results. Water based lubricant is your best option for this. My friend Sassy can help you out with this.
  • The candles are available from Sassy Minx for the very reasonable price of $24.95 aud. They’re not online yet; you can book yourself in for a fabulous party or just email the lovely Sassy to purchase one.

The Bacchie Files 8: Exclusive

This is old news for me but new news for all my readers. Let’s travel back in time a few weeks ago….


I’ve deleted my online dating apps, I’m not dating any other men, and I’m exclusively dating Ridge Forrester. We had this conversation last night:

RF: “I’m assuming we’re exclusive right? I’m not seeing anyone else, are you?”

Me: “Correct. I’m not seeing anyone else either. I don’t’ want to see anyone else.”

RF: “Me either.”

Me: “Thank you for double checking though, assumptions aren’t good.”

RF: “Yeah, they lead to people getting hurt.”

Is exclusive the new going steady? I can’t call him my boyfriend yet can I? He’s not my boyfriend; he’s the man I’m exclusively seeing. Oh my, it all sounds so New York City.

I can’t tell you all how different this feels: it feels right and good. Sometimes I feel like I’ve known him forever; other times I know barely anything about him. This feels like something special. The ribbons that hold everything about us as individuals together are unravelling at an unhurried pace….We talk about our lives and our friends. The future is vague and who knows what will happen there. I do know this; no matter what happens with this man I have found someone I want to have a relationship with, someone I’m willing to give time to see where it goes. If it all goes sour I at least know what I’m looking for moving forward.

The Bacchie Files 7: Ridge Forrester

The Bacchie Files 7: Ridge Forrester

I know you’ve all been hanging on the edge of your seats waiting for the next instalment of the Bacchie files. My bad for making you wait. Forgive me; I’ve been rather busy dating and haven’t had time for my lovely readers.

Previously on the Bacchie Files: I had a defcon 5 meltdown as I was convinced I was being ghosted by 2 men I’d been on dates with. Turns out my meltdown was completely unwarranted as they both contacted me days after I wrote that post – turns out they were just busy! Since then I haven’t seen The Moroccan again but I have seen Just Jonathan again.

Now: So I saw Just Jonathan again when he offered to take me to dinner and then suggested as he was so cash strapped we eat in instead. In his defence he was saving for an overseas holiday so I understood. I even understood when he requested we have dinner at mine – after all he lives with a grumpy flatmate who doesn’t tolerate guests. I live with flatmates who I bribed with my luscious two toned chocolate mousse to give me the house to myself. I cooked, he showed up with a bottle of red. After dinner we talked. Then we kissed and …..

hes not that into youThen he didn’t contact me for days, almost a week in fact! I text him here and there, checking in to see how he was going. Finally about 2 weeks later he invited himself back over for dinner one night (insert eyeroll here). I cooked, he showed up with a bottle of wine. We kissed and….It was super awkward in the morning. I began to realise that whilst Just Jonathan isn’t a bad guy; he wasn’t the guy for me. There were times during those 2 dinner dates when I seriously thought he was a self-important wanker. The top 5 reasons why it would never work are:

  1. He NEVER took me out to dinner! I know this sounds like I’m a princess but we’re DATING! People who date GO OUT! It doesn’t have to be fancy – I’d be happy with a pizza on the beach. Just take me out damnit.
  2. He wasn’t that into me. I know people are busy but really 5-7 days to text me back? I get busy too; I have a life, but I always text back those who I want too….I rest my case.
  3. He didn’t like my dog. He used to bang on about the dogs him and his ex owned together (tiny little things) and how awesome they were. He once growled (literally, like a dog) at Coco when she went near him. #douche
  4. On that note: HE’S NOT OVER HIS EX! Me and Dating was 100% right…He mentioned her at least once during each date.

It’s been weeks (4-5) since I’ve seen him. Last week he text twice in one week to indicate that we should catch up when he gets back….I wished him a lovely holiday. I won’t be seeing him again; he’s not the man for me.

Moving on…..I’ve met someone else. I’d been chatting to this a guy for only a week or 2. I’m going to call him Ridge Forrester – he’s tall, dark, handsome and intelligent. Plus he has hair, real hair! It’s dark brown/black just like Ridge on bold and the beautiful.

He was friendly and we had some good chats. To be honest I can’t remember a lot of what we chatted about but I thought he was lovely and I would jump onto the platform if I saw a message from him. I was feeling confident so I asked if we could meet up when he was free.

1st date outfit

First Date recap

Location: Coolangatta – a really cool restaurant just near my place that does yummy wood fired pizzas.

What I wore: a long black maxi dress, ankle boots and an open denim shirt as a jacket

Who Paid: He did

Line of the date: NA. We didn’t stop talking the whole time and even closed the restaurant we didn’t want to leave.

As far as first dates go this one is up there for a great night out. It was rainy and the first time I’ve needed a jacket this year. Plus I’ve always wanted to go to Bread & Butter as I’ve heard great things about it. But aside from the food the company was the real winner this time. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt so comfortable around a man and we talked all night. We’ve got a lot in common and he was super attentive. Neither of us wanted to leave and so it was up to the staff to move us on. He offered to walk me to my car and I almost poked his eye out with my umbrella (hello miss clumsy) but we made it in the end. Then I offered to drop him back to his around the corner where I got to meet his dog River.

Did I mention he has a dog? And that he likes dogs in general! Also he text me first checking in to say he had a great time and wanted to see me again….

Since then we’ve had more dinners/dates. We’re up to double digit dates now:

  1. Dinner with pizza and red wine. I surprised us both by giving him a quick kiss goodbye on the mouth….Told you I felt comfortable.
  2. Dinner with lamb shanks (I’m still dreaming of these shanks) and more red wine. He kissed me first.
  3. GoT date. I brought dinner to him (courtesy of my 30 day challenge food rules) and we watched the first episode of season 5 at his. I should mention he’s a total nerd….River is named after the girl in firefly, his WiFi is named Mother of Dragons (for real). But I like that about him with a capital L.
  4. Thai dinner on the beach with River. Plus he came and met my Coco Pop and loved her (of course he did she’s awesome).
  5. Sunday morning Breakfast….This started when I dropped over to say hi on my way home from a night out. He offered me breakfast the next day; so I stayed.
  6. GoT date 2. This season is actually really quite good. He has a BIG television *wink*
  7. Doggy walk date with our pups. River was the picture of a well behaved dog. Coco was crazy!
  8. Dinner and a Movie (plus breakfast the next day)
  9. A surprise invitation to come over, snuggle and watch a movie (he’d had a few drinks during lunch and missed me)
  10. GoT Tuesday….It’s become a tradition!
  11. So many more dates!

happy dayIt’s early days but so far its been soooo good. He really is very lovely. I’m into him; I like him A LOT. I almost haven’t blogged about him as I want to keep it to myself; but I promised when I started this blog I would share my life and so I am. Watch this space for more updates about Ridge Forrester….

The Bacchie Files #7 The Subtle Art of Ghosting

If you’ve been online dating recently you might’ve heard of a something called ‘ghosting’. You might’ve even ‘ghosted’ someone without knowing it.

 “Ghosting” or “slow fading” describes the ending of a relationship by one party who gradually removes him or herself from the other person’s life—via canceled plans and decreased communication—until eventually, all communication ceases. The relationship ends, though there’s most often no formal explanation from the “ghoster.”

Check out this awesome graph about female and male ghosting habits:

ghosting habits

I believe I’m being ghosted by two men I’ve recently been on dates with: The Moroccan and Just Jonathan. Both men have been texting me throughout the week and then as of Friday evening there hasn’t been any further contact. Nothing. Nada. Zip. The last bit of contact I had with either of them was a series of text messages to arrange a suitable time/place for a second date (separately and on different nights, of course).

re-directedI could be overreacting but my gut tells me a ghosting is occurring. Though maybe I’m not; maybe they just had super busy weekends working and having their own lives, and just didn’t find a spare 30 seconds to contact me via text. Also I noticed the other night Jonathan had deleted me from his list of contacts on POF. I had planned on asking him about this on our second date; especially as his messages were pretty flirtatious and I have no intention of sleeping with someone who is already planning his exit strategy via online dating, but alas I don’t believe there will be a date number two.


Basically they’re just not that into me and I should let it go. After all who wants to pursue something with a man who doesn’t take the time to check in on how your weekend is. I know I could’ve messaged them this myself to see how they were going but something (let’s call it a strong sense of self preservation and instinct) held me back.  Who knows what’s changed; or if they just began to listen to the honesty voice inside of them and decided to step away.

I have enough confidence to know this situation is out of my control. I couldn’t have done anything differently – the result would’ve been the same. My actions haven’t caused this, I didn’t do anything wrong. Dating is a game of numbers and probability; this time the numbers just didn’t stack up.


I won’t deny it hurts. You go on a date with someone and have a great time; you’re interested, you want to see them again. Then there’s follow up post date and even the early stages of planning for date number two; then all of a sudden nothing. Contact is broken. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve checked my phone this past 96 hours.

I’ve ghosted 2 men myself: Mr Swan and Cheeky Steve. I didn’t meet either of them in person; I gave them my number to get in contact with the view to arrange a time to go on a date. Then they got a little weird and I realised I didn’t even want to meet them in person. So I deleted their old messages and did the same to any new ones.

Therefore in light of this I thought I’d share my thoughts on how to ‘break it off’ in the modern online dating era:

  • If you give someone your number and then realise it might’ve been a mistake. Then it’s acceptable to not respond to messages and then delete/block the number.
  • If you’ve gone a date or two (I believe in second chances) and not been intimate, then by all means text the person and tell them politely why you don’t want to see them again.
  • If you’ve had more than a few dates and been intimate with someone then really a sit down conversation is respectful. The ideal response would be to send flowers (or a bottle of whiskey) with a note that says; “I can’t do this, I’m sorry.”


What do you think? Is it bad manners to just ignore someone? Should I change my behaviour when it comes to letting potential bacchies know I’m just not that interested (It has crossed my mind that it’s a karma for ghosting Mr Swan and Cheeky Steve)? Or should I just accept that this is the way it’s done?

Mr Grey will see you now #50shades #bdsm #kinkisntbad 

disney 50 shades 50 shades

I’ve been sitting on this post for 2 weeks now – ever since 50 Shades of Grey  was released.  There’s also a some negativity surrounding the movie and BDSM. Some critics are calling it domestic violence. I will categorically state that BDSM is not domestic violence. It’s where 2 consenting adults participate in a range of ‘play’ including bondage, whipping, spanking, hot wax, nipple clamps and more. There’s also such things as safe words and hard limits to give both parties control; and to ensure boundaries aren’t broken as well as keeping everyone safe. Many would argue that straight or vanilla sex would benefit from the use of safe words and limits…it would certainly be useful for that time your lover slipped into the wrong hole and told you to just enjoy it.

This article sums up BDSM in a quick ‘BDSM for dummies style’ list. 

I’ll concede I didn’t want to read 50 shades. I found the plot unbelievable: he’s mega-wealthy and a dominant, she’s a student and a virgin. I was turned off. It seemed a little far fetched to me and to be honest it sounded like the male character wanted a little woman he could control. But as the books gained momentum I became intrigued… Plus my bestie R told me I’d like the female lead Anna as she refuses Mr Grey’s ‘contract’. So I read them and they weren’t bad. They weren’t absolutely amazing either. I thought Christian was a bit of a wanker, he didn’t want a real relationship he wanted a submissive who would do whatever he wanted without having to expend any emotional strain himself. I did  like the fact that Anna fought against Christian’s demands that she be fully submissive to him. I also liked the healing Christian goes through to become 50 less shades of fucked up through Anna’s love and their relationship. 

If you are looking to read more BDSM fiction I recommend Roni Loren’s Loving on the edge series. It’s fantastic. If you like reading about big handsome dominant men in a setting that’s more believable her stuff is for you. Plus you’ll find all of the BDSM in her series is consensual – there isn’t one person doing something because the other wants it, it’s a shared passion. FYI I seriously wish I worked at the ranch in her series. 

If you like it in the dark missionary style then high five to you. Same goes if you want to be tied down, ridden hard and put away wet. As long as it’s safe, sane and consensual we’re all good here.

I went and watched the movie last weekend with a girlfriend and both of us enjoyed it. I still thought Christian was a bit of a wanker; especially when Anna asks him what would she get from signing the contract and he replies with, “You get me.” Really? That’s it? I loved the scenes in the playroom (with the exception of the final scene), I thought they were beautifully shot and Dakota Johnson is fearless in her portrayal of Anna. I completely understood why she felt so conflicted with Christian. She wanted a relationship with depth and love along with a side of kink. 

I’ll confess I have a fascination with BDSM. And I’ve done A LOT of research into it. I’m a control freak across all aspects of my life with the exception of the bedroom where I like a dominant man to take control. I have to trust this man implicitly; as anyone does when they’re about to become intimate with another person. For the record I’m a 33 yr old woman with a professional career, a loving family, and beautiful friends. I just happen to like a little kink on the side. For me BDSM isn’t about having a controlling partner; I’ve had those before and have been in emotionally abusive relationships (where the sex was very vanilla and to be honest pretty crappy), I just like a man to take control in the bedroom. Outside of that though I expect to be treated with nothing but respect and love.

Thanks to books like 50 shades and fantastic companies like Sassy Minx boutique (they bring the toys and the knowledge for you to learn more and shop in the comfort/privacy of your own home) the tabbo around liking naughty things in the bedroom is breaking down. I strongly believe (and have written about it on numerous occasions) that every woman has the right to a fulfilling sex life. If you like it in the dark missionary style then high five to you. Same goes if you want to be tied down, ridden hard and put away wet. As long as it’s safe, sane and consensual we’re all good here.

The bacchie files #6 Flashback Friday

Flashback Friday: Facebook never lies

A trip down dating memory lane for the latest version of the Bacchie files. No news to report on The Moroccan or Just Jonathan. The texting continues but no real dates have been set. I may have something lined up with another man Marky Mark (he has the muscles to match the real Marky Mark) next week but we’ll see.

At the start of last year (2014) I had a few dates with a man I like to call Sweet Dave. Sweet Dave was a nice man and for the short time I knew him he treated me like a princess. But there was no ‘spark’ no real chemistry between us. I dated him because he was nice and I felt I should give him a chance. He helped me realise my whole biscuit analogy, click on the link for more info.

Date #1

A walk on the beach with Coco and I. He was smitten, she was playing up and barking, and I thought he was sweet and nice.

Date #2

Drinks at the fabulously quirky Stingray Bar at QT Hotel in Surfers Paradise. It was fun but a little awkward as I’d brought the bestie R with me (she was visiting and we were catching up with other people after my date). Things began to unravel here as I was beginning to realise that I wasn’t really feeling it. Then I had a drink and kissed him (luckily I didn’t have more drinks as I would’ve slept with him – drunk Brooke makes poor decisions). The kiss was sweet, tentative, and gentle…..There was no Spark.

panda memeDate #3

A quick mid-week dinner at my fav Mexican place Guzman Y Gomez. Takeaway Mexican that is the closest I’ve ever tasted in Australia that reminded me of all the amazing Mexican I ate in America years ago. I knew it was a mistake to have a third date and I’m sure he did too. He didn’t pay for my $12 burrito (his only flaw – apart from being too nice) and really if your date can’t pay for your burrito you know it’s never gonna work! Of course he wanted to walk me back to my car and have a pash at the end of the night…..I wasn’t impressed; you get to kiss me but you no pay for burrito???

I finally broke it off via text message. Not my finest hour I agree – but as

Dear Davewe’d only been on 3 dates and just kissed (not slept together) I felt justified in my actions. I think a well worded text is much nicer than having someone “ghost” you. I got a very nice message back from Sweet Dave in response which was so very sweet of him.

Fast forward to a few months ago. I noticed he’d un-friended me on Facebook; no dramas at my end. It’s totally his choice and after all I’m just some woman he went on 3 dates who dumped him via text, he doesn’t need me a as a Facebook friend.

Any-the-who when I was inviting friends to join my blog page a few weeks after that his name popped up in the list (of course I didn’t invite him…that would be weird). However, I was intrigued – could I have been re-added without my knowledge? So I did some unpaid private investigating and found out nope, I hadn’t been re-added at all. It was just some weird Facebook thing. But more importantly the last post on Sweet Dave’s wall was he was in a relationship with a woman (you know people should really learn to guard their Facebook profiles). My first thought was happiness – Good on you Sweet Dave! I’m happy he found someone because he really is a sweet man and I’m sure he’s currently treating his girlfriend like an absolute princess. Maybe they’ll all live happily ever after – I hope so.

When I went to post this today I did a little check on Sweet Dave and his new GF Sweet Carissa. Looks like they’re still going strong: How awesome is that?

snow white memeThe epilogue of this story is that this right now I’m in a good place. I wish everyone happiness and love and I don’t envy those who have it. I smile at the sunshine, laugh at the rain and sing every chance I get.  I’m pretty much Snow-Freaking-White with the exception of an evil stepmother, living with 7 men and some dude hunting me down to kill me….Fingers crossed someday my prince will come!

The bacchie files #5

i should date meThe tale of 1 Weekend: 2 Dates

Finally I have been asked out and I went on 2 dates with 2 very different men last weekend! For those of you playing the home game we have 1 new player (the Moroccan) and 1 player from previous episodes (Just Jonathan).

bathroom selfie

Date 1: The Moroccan

Location: Byron Bay

What I wore: Singlet, harem pants and leopard print flats.

Who Paid: He did

Line of the date: I may be a PT but I like my women with curves (oh be still my beating heart).

I spent Valentine’s Day night alone and watched my favourite season of Sex and The City. It’s the sixth season when she falls in love with the Russian & goes to Paris before Big comes to rescue her. Don’t stress I wasn’t sad; I had a grand time watching my show, drinking my wine and hanging out with Coco Pop. I even had cheesecake!

The Russian reminds me of my date with The Moroccan. He’s half French half Moroccan , a part time personal trainer/security guard, confident, and he made me break all of my first date rules! First impressions; he was built.

cimo bird
Almost a deal breaker…Filthy birds

We met up for a drink which got quickly upgraded to a meal. First rule break; I never eat a meal on the first date. What if you meet and realise they’re a loser? Then you’re stuck with them through food… But there’s something about this man. He’s younger 28-29 to my 33-34 but he’s very confident. So we ate and talked and flirted. Then we walked along the beach where there were kisses. And more kisses. Then honest to goodness making out. Another rule break…. I don’t normally kiss them passionately on the first date. But the Moroccan has big beautiful lips & I knew I had to try them before the night was done.

Cimo workout
Hello muscles

After the beach and the kissing there was more…. But this woman isn’t one to kiss and tell. I will say he is an excellent kisser.

I feel he might be a short time lover not a keeper. We’ll see. He contacted me this morning to check in which surprised me. Also I have to remind myself of what I want.

Sorry about the mess in my room

Date 2: Just Jonathan

Location: Broadbeach Bowls Club

What I wore: Silk cami, printed shorts and black strappy flats.

Who Paid: 50/50

Line of the date: I really enjoyed spending time with you and want to go to stage 2. I want to see you more.

cute. very cute

He suggested barefoot bowls and to be honest I was nervous. I kept thinking of that scene in Bridget Jones edge of reason where she’s picking a dress for the law society dinner. Her friend turns to her and says,”No pressure Bridget, but your entire life’s happiness depends on this event”. Plus I’m really competitive and didn’t know if I would be able to curb my enthusiasm if I won!

I was so nervous I was early! He arrived and first impressions – cute, short (around my height), a little scrawny, killer smile, terrible taste in shoes (he had those awful slip on trendy laceless sneakers).

Jono fly
Almost like top gun

We grabbed drinks and chatted. He used the word behest in a sentence *sigh*. He’s intelligent, driven, ambitious, can fly a plane, and knows what he wants. We played barefoot bowls (and flirted – he smacked my bottom at one point) for almost 2 hours. I won once. He won the other games. He swore he has only ever played once before – I suspect this was on the junior Olympics team. But it’s totally fine; I was a gracious loser (this time).

The farewell was a kiss on the cheek and a hug along with the promise of wanting to see me again. Then he said he wants to take it to Stage 2….I’m hoping Stage 2 means dinner and making out.

Since the end of date #2 both men have contacted me to see how my day is etc etc. What do you think? Is there a clear winner here?

Also it’s ladies choice for date number 2 (or is it stage 2) with Just Jonathan. What should I do? Something active that involves ice cream.

My bestie tells me I’m still single until I get a ring on my finger (or an exclusivity discussion)…Hence I’m thinking that for now I’ll keep them both and see how it goes.

The bacchie files #4

My journey through the land of online dating continues…. I’m searching for a man who can hold my attention for more than 3 days.


But first a recap from my last post:
Of the previous players only one made it past the first week. Mr Swan asked for my number – I gave it to him and the first offline conversations commenced. They didn’t get far. I felt like he was trying to create an intimacy between us without really getting to know me. He wouldn’t answer my questions coming back with something vague and when I tried to delve deeper he’d change the subject. He made no effort to want to know me on a deeper level and was overly fond of calling my endearments – all the freaking time! Sweetie, beautiful, honey were all I heard. He never asked me about my life or why I was single. He was more than happy to keep it light n easy with that dangle of, “Let’s meet up for coffee soon sweetie”, always in plain sight. It felt contrived – like he was saying everything he thought a woman would want to hear. I was beginning to realise I just wasn’t into this man as I didn’t want to call him on his behaviour. Then I dropped my phone , it died and I lost all my contacts/messages… Coincidence? I think not.

Moving on…. This episodes players are:

1. Le Chef
The chef calls me cutie or princess. I don’t mind the nicknames – shock horror. The online conversations have been light and fun – we’ve swapped stories on jobs, what we like to do outdoors and where we live. I suspect he likes a slower pace in the getting to know you phase. We’ve exchanged numbers and he calls every day or so for a chat. I suspect he keeps it light as there’s stuff he doesn’t want to delve into to… But he won’t get the chance to do this as I am determined to get over my fear of asking the right questions to gauge if he’s a fit for me. Check out this link and watch the video for more info.

FYI I’m sure this is all common sense stuff but I know a whole heap of girlfriends (myself included) who keep meeting men and not asking these important things. My very smart friend Sharon tells me I need to be more emotionally open – reflect what you want to attract. I am craving a deep connection not a passing fancy.

He mentioned the other night he wants to come visit me (he lives approx 6 hour drive away). I was on the verge of telling him that sounded like a good idea and asking him where he would stay (not with me – I don’t want it to be a given sex is on the table until we’ve met face to face. Besides I like the idea that it sex comes back on the table we can go and fool around in his hotel room) when his phone died! Since then he’s had poor reception so we’ll see. Trying not to let my inner cynic have a field day with this.


2. Jonathan
I like Jonathan. A lot. There’s something about him that makes me sit up and take notice – other than being tall, dark and handsome. He doesn’t get a nickname. He’s just Jonathan. This man knows what he wants. When I asked him why he was single his response was, “because I haven’t met the right woman yet. I want to find someone who is special enough to give my affection too and is worthy of my love.” Some might say a little arrogant but I like the honesty….what do you think?

We’ve had conversations about those must ask questions. He thinks my dog is awesome (she is! He’s only the second man to mention coco – major brownie points, she’s important to me, I mention her in my profile). He’s intelligent – currently completing his MBA, articulate, likes to cook, travel, and has one of the best profiles I’ve read in a long time:


He works in security for a hospital (anyone who knows me is groaning – another security guard, Brooke, really? So sue me I like a manly man) and most importantly he has hair! Also he openly stated he rarely goes onto the POF app but contacted me as liked my profile. He didn’t reappear for days and confessed he only came on to check if I’d messaged him. Well me and his other POF girlfriends I suppose.

3. Cheeky Steve
Cheeky Steve is the first man who I think I’d need a safe word with. This man is not vanilla and my non-conventional heart desires this. I’ve been upfront and told him I don’t want another lover/fling, I’m looking for a relationship. He assures me he’s open to seeing where it goes. I think he’s full of BS . I’ll confess though I’m very tempted by him.

Dis- honourable mentions
A new edition to the bacchie files.

Do you remember my friendPauly – remember we dated for 5 minutes almost 2 years ago? Since then we’ve had a few little flings but nothing serious. We want different things so it will never work. I’ve vowed to stop fooling around with him as I want to meet someone special, not just someone to pass the time with.

Pauly thought he would try and be funny this week contacting me on the POF platform pretending to be a potential suitor. He then went on to slut shame me but telling me to tweak my profile otherwise I might attract the wrong men. Here’s my thoughts on this….


I double checked my profile with my bestie R and she conceded it could do with some cleaning up. So I replaced dominant in bed with – willingness to compromise, same same right?

Then there’s this guy…. Just what anyone would want to hear… “I’m bored, amuse me”.


People who can’t read my profile which clearly says I’m looking for a relationship for the long term….


I’m not a grammar nazi…. Much.


I’m in New Zealand for work with the day job for the next 9 days so I doubt there will be any bacchie updates but I’ll keep you posted.

Before you go…. What are your thoughts on my current suitors?

A Day in the Life Of….

i ate it

I’d describe my usual outlook on life as positive and normally I’m all like, “Everyone walks their own journey. Don’t judge; it’s not effecting you, it’s all good.” BUT occasionally I see something that can’t help but bring out an inner snark and today was one of those days….

A friend posted this onto facebook about a juice company founders day of food:

Day of food My first thought was, “Good for her, I hear kale is lovely this time of year”. Then I thought, “This is why I’m not a juice company founder…I don’t like green juice that much (like at all) and WHERE is the wine?” Not to mention the lack of chocolate or cakes…

But then I got to thinking about MY DAY ON A PLATE: 

Thurs 16 Jan 2015 (Australian time) 

The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and I was fast asleep until….

5.00am – Ignore alarm.

5.05am – Stop alarm and get out of bed. Dress for circuit class at the park. EAT nothing! Saves me from throwing it up at class.

5.30am – 6.15am – Circuit Class. Also known as Hell.

6.30am – Walk dog quickly around the block and try not to die of exhaustion.

7.30am – Find whatever bread looks edible at home. Toast 1 piece. Smash some avocado on it with a sprinkle of salt & pepper. Make fruit smoothie/juice thing with frozen berries, orange juice & banana. Not that nutritious but it tastes SO GOOD.

WORK 9.00am – 5.00pm 

9.30am – Snack time. I eat 3 large choc chip cookies.

11.00am – Elevensies. There was a small bag of green grapes on my desk. Not anymore….

1.30pm – Lunch time WOOT WOOT! A slice of left over homemade Mexican Tortilla Pie. With a dollop of full fat sour cream (the full fat stuff tastes amazing) to stop the burning from the chilli powder in the pie.

3.30pm – Afternoon snack time. Carman’s protein museli bar. Basically a museli bar that isn’t covered in chocolate. DAMN! Who brought those?

4.00pm – Bonus afternoon snack time. I find a bag of M&Ms in my desk. Obviously a sign from the universe to eat more chocolate.

5.30pm – Boxing Class. I barely survive.

7.00pm – 8.00pm – Watch SBS Food salivating over Italian and Japanese food. Realise I’m hungry as I actually want to eat Japanese fish. I never eat Seafood – it’s like kale for me. Nice but no thanks.

8.15pm – Dinner. Another slice of Mexican Tortilla Pie (I’m sensing a theme here) with sour cream. Followed up by a pineapple flavoured zooper dooper for dessert which is just sugar syrup frozen to create the worlds best iceblock! It’s hot, I needed it.


9.00pm – 10.00pm – Chat to my internet boyfriends on POF to make them feel wanted. Fall asleep on my ipad dreaming about zooper dooper flavoured juice.

For the record I want it stated that I considered having a glass of wine after boxing class. However I could barely lift my arms high enough to bring the glass to my lips so I refrained. You can bet I’ll be having wine tonight though!!

How was your day on a plate? Did you also have Tortilla Pie or did you just stick with green juice? Did you have wine??

Julia CHild

Blog at | The Baskerville Theme.

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