A night at the opera

Random Stuff

Date night with myself !
It’s currently interval at the Andrea Bocelli concert. So far everything has been beautiful …. Italian or French opera is divine. I can’t understand a lick of the language but to be honest Signore Bocelli could sing the alphabet and I’d be delighted.

First up I decided on a witchery maxi dress with covered heels (it is the opera …. No open toes here). Plus the frock is comfortable as well as stylish – I like my fashion to be both.

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Though I have to admit Brisbane (concert venue city) has let itself down a bit. Not enough gents in suits or ladies in frocks … But each to his own I guess.

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I’m sitting in a sea of couples. They weren’t too impressed with my arriving after them and having to shuffle along without touching anyone…. For the record I did offer to stay at the end and have everyone else move one seat in but they declined.

The first half has gone very quick. I’m becoming impatient to see Delta Goodrem (the very special guest) perform. Goodrem is an Australian pop star whom I’ve followed since her break through album innocent eyes . I love her music and her name on the concert roll (as well as the half price ticket) was the deciding factor to come along.

I’ll update the second half and my favourite songs a little later x

Father’s Day

We are family

It’s fathers here in Australia and I wanted to share something about my dad. My earliest memory of my dad is reading me a story before bed. I have a distinct memory of him reading to me with 2 bandaged hands…. He’d been in an explosion at work (he used to work in quality assurance for a big chipboard/laminate company) and even though it was late (and he was in pain) he still read me my story.

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I’m blessed because my dad has always been there for me. His words of wisdom always resonate with me. His best advice on finding the love of your life, “Look for someone who is generous and can compromise”. His other advice, “Never, never, never, never give up”. He’s a good man my dad, with a good heart who does his best to treat people how he wants to be treated, to be honest and hardworking, and he is a big believer in loyalty and I got my love of scotch from him. I also got my black humour from him and my ability to internalise stuff until they explode. My dad is a Pisces – a calm fish in a sea of 3 women (my mother, my sister and I) who are all fire signs. He is incredibly calm and affable until you ‘press the red button’… Then all bets are off!

I’m not spending Father’s Day with him but will call him in 30 mins to wish him happy Father’s Day as he packs up the catering for a day of touring on Fraser Island. I saw him last weekend and gave him his little gift – a Star Wars tee – he’s a massive Star Wars geek…. We’ve watched Return of the Jedi so much my sister and I can quote it!

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My dad is also a HUGE fan of nicknames. My mother gets princess or possum, my sister is the baby mongoose, and I’m his Scandinavian trotting duck or snow crocus….. Once he even called me a garden slug (I’m sure it was a term of endearment). His favourite movies are:

- Shrek (he cracks up at Donkey every time)
– BlackHawk down
– Lord of the rings (he used to call us his ‘precious’)
– Anything featuring Steven Segal… If it’s a straight to DVD release the better.

His favourite football team (and mine too – you can guess I’m a daddy’s girl): Essendon AFL football club.

How do you celebrate Father’s Day? What makes your dad so special? If you have kids do you have any nicknames for them or any special traditions you do with your kids?

The first time #firsttime #babymac

Manly Matt, online dating

my name is earlI was inspired today by a post from the fabulous Beth over at BabyMac. She asked us to comment about the first time we saw the one we loved….As I’m currently on man ban (but my heart is in a better place this week) I thought I’d walk you down memory lane and tell you about those men I’ve loved (and who lost me ha ha). So in order of when I met them here they are….

#1 Cameron. He was my first real boyfriend. He was also the man I lost my virginity too. We lived next door to each other on uni res (university residential for those not used to Aussie slang). He thought I was a gorgeous woman in my 20s (I was only 17, about to turn 18). I thought he was an old loser (he was 25 turning 26), with floppy hair (we  nicknamed him Lyle Lovett behind closed doors), a big nose and a noisy bloody motorbike that used to wake me up in the wee hours (mainly after one too many glasses of cask wine….Hey; I was a student – no judgement). He was wearing mambo shorts and no shirt the day I popped over searching for my friends. I realised then and there I wanted him; I had the worst crush on him, and was convinced he’d never like me back as I had turned him down earlier in the year. I was wrong – one night a group of us had a BBQ which ended with us all jumping into the pool fully clothed. I headed home to get my flatmates and he followed. I didn’t even see it coming when pashed me on my front door step and I was hooked.

suits

#2 Tim. The first time I saw Tim I thought he was a gangly nerd. He was tall, over 6 ft, with glasses and overlong hair. The first time I really saw him was my 22 birthday; he made me laugh so hard and was concerned that I was having an asthma attack (I was but I didn’t want to go home – I was having too much fun)! He was wearing brown chinos, a black button up shirt, a black zip up jacket and this pair of God awful trainers he wore everywhere… He’d taken a mutual gay friend shopping with him as he wanted to impress me.  We dated for over 6 years. We didn’t even kiss until we’d been dating for over 4 weeks, I moved into his place after just 3 months of dating; and at 5.5 years we seriously talked marriage, family and our future. We looked at rings (I wanted at least a carat solitaire…Oh my how things have changed now; my taste is a lot less flashy and more subtle/classic) and he asked my parents for their blessing. Then a few months later we looked at buying a house together and I asked if it meant a step towards a future:

Him: “We’re not getting engaged anytime soon”

Me: “Well then why buy a house?”

He finally admitted he loved me but didn’t know if he wanted to get married to me.  Less than 2 months later we broke up. Probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done was telling this beautiful man that I loved him but I couldn’t stay as we would end up hating each other – we wanted different things. Sometimes I think back about Tim and wonder would it work a second time round? Then I remember how very different we are, how his family never liked me, how he didn’t really like my big/loud/annoying family, how he didn’t want to marry me, and I know deep down (in my bones) that our time is done.

 

#3 Troy (AKA the breakup from hell). I met him at an industry meeting and don’t recall what he looked like other than he was short and I thought he was interested in me. It was months later when he contacted me via facebook to see what I was up to when our casual industry friendship became something more. I remember the first date – we met at Kirra Beach, Coolangatta. He came running towards me in jeans, flip flops and a checked shirt. I wasn’t too sure if he was attractive to me (he also had an earring in one ear) but we sat down on the beach to have a picnic and he kept looking at me like I was Christmas…So I kissed him.  

 

#4 Manly Matt. We met online at POF.com and text each other for weeks before we agreed to meet up for a drink at Kingscliff. When I first arrived I saw a man with a walking frame and a shaved head ….I already knew what Matt looked like but I thought oh no, all of his photos were of him sitting or leaning over something (and he has a shaved head)…Maybe that’s him with the frame? Then he text me to say he was upstairs. He was wearing jeans, a Billabong t-shirt, flip flops and a big smile. I thought he was cute and sweet. He made me laugh and we flirted with our eyes all the way through the date. When we parted ways he didn’t kiss me – just told me we should do it again sometime.

And now my heart is a little sad again x

escape

The first time #firsttime #babymac

Manly Matt, online dating

my name is earlI was inspired today by a post from the fabulous Beth over at BabyMac. She asked us to comment about the first time we saw the one we loved….As I’m currently on man ban (but my heart is in a better place this week) I thought I’d walk you down memory lane and tell you about those men I’ve loved (and who lost me ha ha). So in order of when I met them here they are….

#1 Cameron. He was my first real boyfriend. He was also the man I lost my virginity too. We lived next door to each other on uni res (university residential for those not used to Aussie slang). He thought I was a gorgeous woman in my 20s (I was only 17, about to turn 18). I thought he was an old loser (he was 25 turning 26), with floppy hair (we  nicknamed him Lyle Lovett behind closed doors), a big nose and a noisy bloody motorbike that used to wake me up in the wee hours (mainly after one too many glasses of cask wine….Hey; I was a student – no judgement). He was wearing mambo shorts and no shirt the day I popped over searching for my friends. I realised then and there I wanted him; I had the worst crush on him, and was convinced he’d never like me back as I had turned him down earlier in the year. I was wrong – one night a group of us had a BBQ which ended with us all jumping into the pool fully clothed. I headed home to get my flatmates and he followed. I didn’t even see it coming when pashed me on my front door step and I was hooked.

suits

#2 Tim. The first time I saw Tim I thought he was a gangly nerd. He was tall, over 6 ft, with glasses and overlong hair. The first time I really saw him was my 22 birthday; he made me laugh so hard and was concerned that I was having an asthma attack (I was but I didn’t want to go home – I was having too much fun)! He was wearing brown chinos, a black button up shirt, a black zip up jacket and this pair of God awful trainers he wore everywhere… He’d taken a mutual gay friend shopping with him as he wanted to impress me.  We dated for over 6 years. We didn’t even kiss until we’d been dating for over 4 weeks, I moved into his place after just 3 months of dating; and at 5.5 years we seriously talked marriage, family and our future. We looked at rings (I wanted at least a carat solitaire…Oh my how things have changed now; my taste is a lot less flashy and more subtle/classic) and he asked my parents for their blessing. Then a few months later we looked at buying a house together and I asked if it meant a step towards a future:

Him: “We’re not getting engaged anytime soon”

Me: “Well then why buy a house?”

He finally admitted he loved me but didn’t know if he wanted to get married to me.  Less than 2 months later we broke up. Probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done was telling this beautiful man that I loved him but I couldn’t stay as we would end up hating each other – we wanted different things. Sometimes I think back about Tim and wonder would it work a second time round? Then I remember how very different we are, how his family never liked me, how he didn’t really like my big/loud/annoying family, how he didn’t want to marry me, and I know deep down (in my bones) that our time is done.

 

#3 Troy (AKA the breakup from hell). I met him at an industry meeting and don’t recall what he looked like other than he was short and I thought he was interested in me. It was months later when he contacted me via facebook to see what I was up to when our casual industry friendship became something more. I remember the first date – we met at Kirra Beach, Coolangatta. He came running towards me in jeans, flip flops and a checked shirt. I wasn’t too sure if he was attractive to me (he also had an earring in one ear) but we sat down on the beach to have a picnic and he kept looking at me like I was Christmas…So I kissed him.  

 

#4 Manly Matt. We met online at POF.com and text each other for weeks before we agreed to meet up for a drink at Kingscliff. When I first arrived I saw a man with a walking frame and a shaved head ….I already knew what Matt looked like but I thought oh no, all of his photos were of him sitting or leaning over something (and he has a shaved head)…Maybe that’s him with the frame? Then he text me to say he was upstairs. He was wearing jeans, a Billabong t-shirt, flip flops and a big smile. I thought he was cute and sweet. He made me laugh and we flirted with our eyes all the way through the date. When we parted ways he didn’t kiss me – just told me we should do it again sometime.

And now my heart is a little sad again x

escape

Love/Life Lessons

I'm human too, Manly Matt

I’m still so very fragile about the end of manly Matt and I. I’m not in a good place – there’s not of pro-Brooke feelings right now. I feel unloveable, undesirable & I have a burning urge to yell out to the sky, ” Why wasn’t I enough? Why couldn’t you love me?”

I wonder if I’ll ever find what I’m searching for -love, passion, soul mate, builder & sharer of a life together, someone to grow old with, someone who I want (& they want too to) try and have a family with me.

I’m so tired of searching & then I catch myself as I remember to put it into perspective – there are others who have so much less than I. But this is my journey right now and I’m trying to work through it as best I can.

I had lunch yesterday with a beautiful friend Sharon. I met her years ago & despite the fact she’s the same age as my mum I consider her a dear friend. As we chatted she asked me if I was still seeing Matt. I told her no and I told her why this was… She simply listened… She didn’t call him an asshole, or tell me I deserve better, or even say there are plenty more fish in the sea (to the friends who have said these things thank you – I appreciate your thoughts). She just looked at me (the only way a mother can – she’s got 2 girls) and said …. “Have you considered coaching? I can approach some people I know. It could help – when your ready – to clarify what you want…. And to help you be more emotionally open, as we sometimes attract mirrors of ourselves. The last couple of relationships you’ve dated men who aren’t emotionally open or capable of building a lasting relationship with you”.

She then said, “You have all the answers within you – if you sat on the beach and put your hand on your heart I guarantee you would know this”.

Her words rang very true to me; I shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help and sometimes a guiding hand is just what you need to help you find the clarity you’re seeking. We spoke some more and she also told me to work on me – love myself and know I’m worthy first. She said past relationship breakdowns leave their mark, they damage our self esteem but we can rebuild from this.

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She brought me a gorgeous rose quartz crystal – the crystal is all about love and healing. I keep it in my handbag and when I get home I’ll put it on my bedside table to help heal my heart.

It might seem to be a bunch of mumbo jumbo to some but yesterday it was what I needed to hear. There is a lesson to be learnt in my breakup with Matt. In my peaceful moments I can smile at the good times and I know I was blessed to trust my heart again to someone. I can also see the flaws/mistakes I made and I know even if I was to openly and honestly tell him these and we could talk – there would still be that attraction – but we still wouldn’t work, he (like me) is too scared to open up in case he gets hurt.

Moving forward I’m focusing on me – I’m sure there will be some more bad days, more tears (I feel like I could go to bed for a week and cry)… But there’ll be good days too; laughter, travels, beautiful friends, dancing, off key singing, more crossfit classes, gallons of scotch and many packets of twisties…. These things always make me smile.

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I promise to stop spending money #andreabocelli

Random Stuff

shopaholic

Hi my name’s Brooke and I am a shopaholic! It’s been 5 minutes since my last purchase. I promise I’ll get better – I know if I want to achieve my long term goals I need to stop shopping! And I promise all my readers (and my mother who reads this too – Hi Mum) that today I will stop. I have enough beautiful things to last me well through until the start of next year…Plus I don’t think my wardrobe can handle anymore clothes.

 Andrea Bocelli

You know in my last post I was bemoaning my boring weekend and how I felt lonely. Well I just brought myself a ticket to see the Ah-Maz-Ing Andrea Bocelli (with special guest and my #1 girlcrush Delta Goodrem) in September. It’s just me going – all by myself. What does one wear to the Opera?

Martha Freaking Stewart

Uncategorized

Heya blogmates, how was your weekend? Mine was very productive = boring! I channelled my inner Martha Stewart:

  •  photo 1 (8)I baked a zucchini and egg slice (basically a frittata)
  • I cleaned my house like a boss
  • I up-cycled some seriously mushy bananas into home made banana bread (FYI how much sugar is in banana bread?)
  • I washed and hung out 4 loads of washing
  • I walked Coco Pop 
  • I cleaned out my closet (literally) and have a few bags of clothes for charity
  • I did some work for my parents company
  • I slow cooked Beef Massamun Curry using mostly whole ingredients (the curry paste was store brought – I’m not perfect)
  • I only drank 4 glasses of wine (1 red, 3 white) all weekend

 

I don’t feel productive! I was bored out of my mind! It’s hard when all your friends have lives and you’re single and it’s raining….Now I know there’s plenty of people who would say well be thankful you a) have a roof over your head b) had mushy bananas to make a banana bread (as well as a working oven) and c) at least you had Coco for company. And I am incredibly thankful and grateful but it still didn’t stop me from being bored and lonely over the weekend.

 martha stewart

However I am happy I survived my first ‘blue day’ weekend. I knew it was coming…It’s been 3 weeks since Matt and I broke up (no new news to report there – no more contact between either of us which is for the best) and the last 3 weekends I’ve been busy so all that ‘high’ had to come crashing down at some point. What do you do to combat days/weekends when this happens to you?

 

 

Back in the box #crossfit #wod

Uncategorized

So I’ve been pretty unmotivated to get back to the box the last couple of weeks and have only managed 1-2 sessions a week! Today was going to be different I told myself. So I set my alarm for 5.30am but when it came on I was to tired so I told myself is go after work (which never happens). Is also checked today’s wod – normally all this does is uninspire me to attend but today I was pumped… Thrusters. One of my favourites – I knew I couldn’t miss it.

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I also downloaded the a new app called ‘wod genius’. It generates wod’s for you at home using what equipment you tell it you have. This mornings wod went like this…

4 rounds for time
7 x kettlebell swings (I used a 12kg one I have at home & did roman swings)
7 x broad jumps
7 x double unders
7 x squat jumps
7 x air squats

I couldn’t seem to nail my double unders this morning so I did 21 single skips a round (my crossfit coaches usually triple any double under score for singles). It wasn’t a long workout – took just under 9mins to complete. A nice little warm up before I walked coco before work.

Also for the record I did make it to the box this evening! It was hard and those thrusters were filthy (I scaled them to 15, but next time I’m aiming for 20kg). I got there in the end at 12:25, the slowest in the class but still something on the board which is better than nothing. Plus the support from the other babes was great & really kept me going! Bring on tomorrow x

Ghosts of boyfriends Past #growingup #men #dating  

Manly Matt, online dating

3 men

There are 3 men in my life right now….

Manly Matt

Pauly

Mr A Evans

Manly Matt is still in my head and I ran into him out with the girls on Saturday night. My head is scrambled eggs because of this man. I love him. We’re not together. He likes me but doesn’t know what he wants. Everyone tells me he’ll regret that we’re not together etc etc. But I need to remember the post I wrote those short weeks ago about why it isn’t going to work and I need to tell myself this: I deserve more! I’m just sad. My heart is broken because I love him and I had hoped that it would’ve worked.

foam rollar 1

Pauly is a recurring theme in my life of late. We dated briefly last year. He broke it off. Then we started again. Then I broke it off. We started fooling around with each other towards the end of the year and my silly heart began to crave more. He met someone else – I was hurt. We didn’t speak for almost a month. Then he broke it off with the new woman. We started to fool around again. I met MM and decided to make a go of it so Pauly and I stopped fooling around. MM and I broke up. I started fooling around with Pauly again…..The sex is so good. Amazing really, probably the best I’ve had in years. But there’s no depth – no craving to be with him, to see how his day is, no dreams of a future. We’re great mates but in the ‘bigger picture’ we want different things and I know I have to grow up and put him aside….I want to meet a man to fall in love with; if I continue to fool around with Pauly I’m not putting myself out there (not that I’m ready too but I know it’s no good for me or for him in the long run).

real real love

Mr A Evans is a man I’ve known for over 5 years. We were friends in Brisbane for years and then over the last 6 months of my time there we hooked up a few times. Each time the sex was amazing but he wasn’t interested in anything more (neither was I at the time) plus he was so inconsistent. 1 minute I could tell we were developing something then the next he’d step back. Over the years he has text me: everything from how am I all the way through to what he wants to do to me in bed. Some of those text exchanges were so hot I blush to think about them. But despite the numerous trips to Brisbane I take I haven’t actually set eyes on him in person in years. He’s like a pen pal – happy to stay in contact but makes no actual effort to sit down in person and build a real connection.

I know what I want now. I have real goals in my mind and I have a list of things I’m looking for in a partner….

  •  I want someone who likes (& will grow to love) my family
  • Thanks to wise words from Rob from Weight2lose I want to find someone who can compromise…Relationships are all about compromise and generosity.
  • Someone who loves their family & doesn’t have estrangement…. Or if they do why is this?
  • Someone who makes me laugh and I can make laugh
  • Someone who gets me & my level of crazy (esp my melt downs)
  • Someone who is as generous as me – no more selfishness
  • Someone who isn’t too proud to say I’m sorry
  • Someone who shares their dreams & wants to know mine
  • Someone who isn’t afraid of commitment
  • Someone who has drive and ambition & wants to better their life
  • Someone who is comfortable in physical intimacy – touching, snuggles, holding hands, kissing!
  • Travel! He’ll want to explore & see the world.
  • It won’t be easy but he’ll push me out of my comfort zone and make me a better person for it.

I also have a list of things I need to work on so that I’m better able to negotiate new relationships and most importantly not repeat mistakes….

  • Don’t be afraid to speak your mind! What’s the worst that could happen? You’ll realise that they’re not the one for you.
  • Don’t be afraid to be yourself and ask lots of questions….If you wanna know something just ask!
  • Do say yes to new opportunities to meet new people! Don’t be afraid to try new things. Everyone gets scared and stressed about something new but jump right in…Anything can happen.
  • Don’t be afraid to love or feel. My time with MM taught me a few very important things; it helped me identify what I want and it showed me I can love and feel again for another.

here's to them

 

Robin Williams #RIP #Gonetoosoon

Me and my soapbox

As I got my morning hot chocolate this morning I overheard one barista say to the other, “Robins Williams is dead”. I was in shock – it couldn’t be true, I didn’t want to accept it…. I checked my news sites and it was confirmed. At 63 Robin Williams has been found dead in his home; an apparent suicide as it has been stated that he was suffering from a deep depression. This beautiful man who had made the world laugh was gone. More importantly this beautiful man who made us all laugh was fighting the grimmest and most horrid thing – the black dog of depression.

Depression is a silent/unseen disease. I lost an uncle a few years ago to depression – we never knew how desperate he was feeling, how lost and how hopeless life seemed to him until it was too late. Some people may blame the person who takes their own life – rage against them, hate them and tell them they took the easy way out. I don’t feel that at all about suicide and I certainly didn’t the night my cousin called to say they’d found her father. I felt an overwhelming sadness and there where deep sobs as I thought of 2 girls without a father, 1 wife without a husband, and 1 grandson without a pop. I also thought about another son, my middle cousin, who died in a car accident 10 years earlier; who would now have his dad beside him. I often wonder how a family survives such tragedy – but they have and they will. For now I urge you all to hug your loved ones that little bit tighter and don’t be afraid to ask them are you ok? Please also be ready to listen if they respond with, “No, I’m not”.

In honour of the wonderful man Robin Williams I’ve found some of my absolute favourite scenes of his career…

Good will Hunting

What Dreams May Come

Patch Adams

Good Morning Vietnam

Aladdin

Mrs Doubtfire

 

Finally in honour of my uncle Pete and cousin Paul here’s some pics of happy times together and 2 of their favourite songs:
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Someone bring me some water (Pete loved, loved, loved Melissa Etheridge)

Life is a Highway (Paul loved this song and despite the fact that it’s been played at all major family gatherings for the past 10 years – there’s dancing and singing – only a few of us have learnt the full song but we all sing along at the top of our lungs in the chorus).

If you need help or someone to talk to please contact the following:

AU

USA

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

This weeks goals #fitness #crossfit

Crossfit, I'm human too, Manly Matt, online dating

stick with it Progress

Happy Monday blogmates!! I hope you all had a wonderful weekend!! I did… 

collage 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Birthday Memories 2014: 

  • Friends and family joined me for dinner at my local Mexican – including a few margaritas which explains the headache the next morning 
  • How amazing are my new pants? Photo on the right with Coco Pop – I had to call 6 stores throughout Australia before I tracked these down! 
  • A sweet birthday message from Manly Matt (it’s ok – it’s just a message – nothing else) 
  • More drinks for another dinner in Byron Bay with the gorgeous Marika – yes it was cold and I had to wear my gloves. 
  • Some lovely (and unexpected) gifts from my beautiful family and friends 

But today it’s back to the real world and work! I wanted to outline my 3 little life goals  for this week…. 

  1. I’ve booked myself in for 3 crossfit classes – Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday! I just want to get to the box 3 times this week and next…Then I’ll build up from there. 
  2. I will not text Manly Matt. He did finally come back to about my message re: spending more quality time together and it upset me a lot. He basically told me he was angry with my message and obviously we wanted different things (yeah, no shit – I want someone who’ll actually want to spend time with me). I responded without getting angry back (no good ever comes from this)….That’s our problem Matt we never actually talked about what we wanted and I’m sorry for not having the courage to do this as it could’ve saved a lot of heartache and anger this week. I love you Matt and I miss you, but I don’t believe you love me. There’s nothing wrong with that. The reasons why I felt I wasn’t that important to you was because with the limited time (we’re both busy and I wasn’t asking for more time) we have together we didn’t get a lot of ‘just us’ time, you wouldn’t acknowledge me as your girlfriend, you didn’t want me there last Saturday night, you made no plans to join me for my birthday….Despite this you’re a good man with a good heart, it just didn’t work out. I wish you and little M all the best xox. He sent me a sweet text for my birthday but this doesn’t mean anything…We haven’t addressed any of the issues that broke us up; so I’m choosing to treat this as a ‘friendly’ text and I’m not going to text him again to start a conversation (as much as my heart wants to)…Because I know I’d just get myself right back into a relationship that isn’t good for me. Of course this doesn’t stop me thinking about him and missing him but that’s all part of the process and I’ll get there. 
  3. No more credit card shopping! I really need to settle down on this and remember those bigger goals! Time to say no to shopping and start to pay those debts off! 

Have a great week everyone! 

Post Breakup Survival Techniques #dating #breakup

Manly Matt, online dating

peaches keep calm and listen to music

Everyone has had a break-up and broken heart at some stage of their life. Here’s a few of the techniques I use to get me through the process…. 

  1. Create yourself a break-up song list…Mine is as follows: 
  1. facebookUn-follow / Un-friend / Block….Depending on how you’re feeling and more importantly how your ex is treating you is how you should approach the separation on social media. If you’ve gone the whole hog and announced it facebook official un-annoucing your relationship can be hard. As a rule I don’t like the whole “in a relationship status thing” but if you’ve gone there the way to discretely change it is to update your ‘about you’ section on facebook on your mobile – it doesn’t show up in news feeds. Also do it on a Saturday night – no one is checking social media then, they’re all too busy uploading drinks and dinner photos of their fabulous life. I always un-follow exes ….It’s too hard to not get angry/sad/misty eyed when you see their updates.
  2. Advise a few close friends who will spread the word for you…Also prepare yourself an ex statement (if only in your head). Something along the lines of; “We want different things, we’ve grown apart, he’s a great guy but not for me, he lied/cheated/stole from me, we never saw each other, etc etc…” You get the picture – something simple that isn’t the nitty gritty of your break-up. No one needs to hear that he was crap in bed or had a tiny dick m’Kay?
  3. Get Social! No, I don’t mean go drinking every night. I mean find things to do socially that require you to get up of your ass, change into nice clothes, fix your hair and make up, and get out of your house!! Meetup.com is a great site for finding social events in your local area – in fact I’m having dinner with a group of complete strangers tonight in an effort to get out there and meet new people. Besides lets face it your social life has most likely revolved around your ex – time to get a life again! 
  4. shoppingDo what makes you happy!! Shopping makes me smile – so I’m shallow sorrynotsorry. The past 2-3 weeks if it’s not been sold out I own it. I am now the proud owner of the following 
  • Vegetable spiraliser – So I can make lovely zucchini spirals instead of real pasta because it’s healthy and I don’t wanna be single and fatter than normal 
  • 3 pairs of shoes – all were on sale and I had to have them
  • 2 new sex toys – A nessecity in times like this 
  • 7 new dresses – I haven’t met a dress I didn’t like and these babies were calling my name!
  • An iPad – which I really only use to browse/stalk facebook on and watch porn 
  • 4 new jackets – relax people, I got them for a steal (seriously I’m worried I’m purchasing stolen goods) on eBay 
  • New makeup – to make me look pretty! 
  • The most amazing outfit I had to call 5 stores to find…Can you believe Harem pants were sold out in my size in my state? I ended up getting them 2 states away and they arrived yesterday….They’re beautiful. 

So that’s my tips…I definitely don’t recommend stalking your ex on facebook (or even the good old fashioned way – in person), or sleeping with your ex, drinking and drunk texting, or sleeping with someone else….Truth be told the best way to get over someone is to take long walks by the beach, breathe in fresh air, look in the mirror (and remember you’re alive), treat yourself to nice things and remember that it’s not the end, it’s only the beginning. 

rebuild again

This I’ve learnt #onlinedating #tips #perils

Manly Matt, online dating

online datingHeya blogmates….First up I need to thank those of you who commented with such kind and wise words following my last blog about the ending of my time with Manly Matt (just in case you missed the misery click here). I still haven’t heard from him and I know I won’t hear from him (doesn’t stop me hoping he’ll charge through with a white horse and tell me he’s wrong and he loves me…Yep, the denial is strong with this one). No in all honesty I’m doing ok and time heals all wounds etc etc…

Any-the-who onto to other things. I read a post by the awesome Rosie Waterland (you can read it here) about her first real “date” and experience with online dating. I did a serious groan and eye-roll; not at the lovely Ms Waterland, but at the douche-bag (AKA nipple man) who she went on a date with. So I got to thinking….As I have been doing some online dating; and I know I’ll get back to it eventually – when my heart heals, but for now I’m taking time for me, what have I learnt that I could pass on – kind of like a ‘Online Dating course 101′. Here goes:

  • Beware the man with the limited profile – if he’s too lazy to complete a decent profile then you can bet he’s too lazy to commit to you.
  • Watch out for the “Wife me Up” men….On date 1 they want to know if you a) wanna get married b) have kids c) what your stance on breast feeding is (not shitting you – I really was asked this once, in relation to kids, not men) and d) added you on facebook. At the end of date 1 they’re already 1) calling you their girlfriend and have changed their relationship status on facebook 2) angling to meet your parents 3) offered to let you “cuddle all night” (my personal pet hate – am I a fucking care bear??) as they just can’t let you go….
  •  Don’t fall for the movies at home trick! I considered myself an intermediate level online dater but even I fell for this one…Date 1 was a drink at a ocean viewed bar. Date 2 was movies at his place which ended up on his bed and progressed to sex…. There was no date 3.

lazy loverFor the record movie-man (AKA delectable Trav) seemed pretty serious about meeting someone in date 1 and I honestly thought we’d go out to the movies for date 2. FYI he had a very nice penis which was a damned shame as he was a particularly lazy lover.

Call of the night was, “You’ll have to do all the work, I have a bad knee…”

Followed by, “Condom or pill?”…. I chose the safe sex option.

 

 

  • Don’t get too drunk! Drunk B makes poor decisions; everything seems like a grand idea when drunk. Limit yourself to only a few glasses (not bottles) and keep yourself nice.
  • Always carry your own protection – just in case you get drunk or he’s Mr Big and you knew you were gonna sleep with him. It terrifies me how many men (and women) expect/accept unprotected sex….There were over 82,000 new cases of Chlamydia reported in Australia at the end of 2012…. Be safe. STI’s happen pepole!
  • Say no to the shirtless selfie! So you work out and you want to show the ladies out there how hot your bod is…..Ugh!
  • Prepare to be surprised when your date actually looks like their online profile! So many people love to post photos of their ‘skinny’ selves onto their dating profile. I’m in sales and marketing and the number 1 golden rule is: don’t over promise and under deliver! Also don’t post shots of you standing far away from the camera or too close to the camera. Honesty is the best policy.
  • If he doesn’t pay for your $12 burrito then he’s not the man for you!
  • Be honest about what you want but don’t show him your pintrest wedding board…If your date asks you what you’re looking for tell him (or her) …I recommend you keep it to a minimum of 2-3 sentences, e.g. “I’m looking to meet someone who I can build and share a life with (maybe too full on – or too airy)” , “I’m looking to meet someone in this city who isn’t afraid of a building a real connection”, or “Ultimately I want to meet someone I can have a relationship with”.

be strong

Good luck + happy dating!