Lately I’ve been working on a little program called; ‘Let’s accidentally bulk up for winter’. It’s not a program I planned on taking but between poor food choices, lack of motivation to get to crossfit, a new romance (why is it when you become smitten with someone you put on weight), a few more drinks than usual (for the record I’m lucky to have 3 glasses of alcohol a week but lately that’s been getting a little higher), plus add to this the fact that I’m in my 30s and those muffin tops don’t disappear as easily as they used too (as so deliciously pointed out by Julie over at Life of a Trophy Wife).
The program has been so successful that I’ve put on a dress size. I haven’t weighed myself in months and I don’t intend on doing so – no good ever comes from this, but I know how my clothes fit and most of all I know what I look like without them. The streamlined curves I spent 3+ years working on are softening and I have a rounded belly (a muffin top). I feel slower and heavier and I’m struggling BIG TIME at crossfit….I don’t like it, not one little bit. For the record I’ve never been a ‘small’ or ‘slim’ girl….I got my curves at 13 and they’ve never moved on. I LOVE MY CURVES! But I would like them to return to the streamlined look I had before….I’d also like to get rid of my muffin top. I don’t need abs but I do want a flatter tummy (*sigh* doesn’t everyone?).
It’s funny how subjective we are about our bodies. I for one have realised that I’m never really happy with my shape and it has surprised me. I don’t consider myself as someone who has major issues with my body but as I look over the last 3 years I realise that I was so focused on what was coming next I didn’t take time to appreciate the moment (this is a recurring theme through my life). For instance:
Me in Rome for my 30th Birthday (2011). I remember thinking that I was happy with my shape but I wanted to work on a ‘few more things’….When I look at this picture now I see someone who should be happy with who she is! Hindsight is a wonderful thing…As I love this body I used to have now. I loved how I could wear a bikini and feel comfortable. I loved how I could wear a designer skirt that cost over $200 or a $20 kmart dress and both would look great. I also love that a little over a month before this photo was taken I had run my first ever 10km race (in 1:03 hrs) and I am not a runner….I can barely run a 1km now but I am signed up for that 10km race again in 7 weeks and I’m hoping that I can make it. I’d love to better my time but this year it’s just an achievement to finish.
These next 2 photos were taken in 2012 (back when I used to ride bikes). The first was taken in Cairns in the August on an early morning ride with my ex’s sister. The second was taken at Christmas day celebrations that year with my family and extended family. I recall at the time that I wasn’t happy with my body as I’d put on weight from the year before. I was also struggling with fitness (I was bored with my training). I was also dating the ex from the break-up from hell and he was pretty critical of my figure back in those days. For the record I can barely fit into the Christmas red dress.
PS. The people in the Christmas pic are all born in July and are all family/extended family. We do a family calendar every year with the pictures of people born on each month – we have someone for every month of the year and for the new partners in the family is pretty competitive to be featured in the calendar. I’ve been warned I have be dating someone for at least 3 months until they are even considered to be part of the calendar. There’s my cousin, aunty, her husband, me and our honourey family member Candice (we’ve known her for a very long time).
The next photo was taken back at the end of March this year. It was the final WOD for the crossfit open and even though it looks like that bar is being held up by brackets it’s not – I was lifting it. I wasn’t feeling too heavy back then but I was definitely aware of the middle spread beginning to occur. But when I look at this photo even though I can see I have put on weight I also feel a great sense of pride as I remember how hard I worked that day in the WOD and how amazing I felt at the end of it!
This one was taken a little over a month ago. My little sister and I were off to celebrate a beautiful couple’s wedding. This dress was feeling a little snug on the day (and it still does) but what hit home the most with this photo was my fuller face. This was my wake up call. Time to seriously look at your food choices and get to the flipping crossfit box more.
Because I’m a big believer in finding solutions to problems and I hate complaining about something and never doing anything to fix it I’ve been trying a few things to begin the journey of getting healthy. I’m not into ‘loosing weight’ I just wanna loose the ‘muffin top’ and get back into my fitness again:
- I no longer look at wodify (the app we use for our crossfit box) to check the WOD in the morning. With winter fast approaching it’s hard enough to get your ass outta bed whilst it’s still dark without knowing what pain the coaches have planned for you.
- Meal planning is king! I’ve set up a document on google drive I can access anywhere and I load up my meals for the week. It helps keep me focused and also limits overspending at the grocery store.
- Deprivation is for sissys….I won’t deprive myself of the ‘bad foods’ I love but I must learn to eat them in moderation. No more lazy Double Cheeseburgers (OMG these are my weakness – I LOVE burgers) on the way home from work, no more ice cream sundaes, no more lying on the couch eating corn chips. Last week I counted that I had take-out twice and it’s not a nice feeling. Take-out needs to be limited, weight watchers recommend a healthy version of takeout (Chinese stirfry, Indian, Pizza with low fat cheese etc) once a week and not to go too crazy on the servings.
- Chocolate (just like beefy men) is my weakness. I love chocolate and so I’m not giving it up; I am however cutting down the serving size. 4 squares a day in a little zip lock bag (like it’s my crack ha ha) …I also buy the stuff I like the most. Lindt milk or dark chocolate. Speaking of chocolate a work tradition I have is to go and get a grande hot chocolate with my colleagues once a day from our local coffee spot. But as this is a little indulgent (complete with full cream milk, marshmallows and thickened cream) I’m reducing these to a short.
- Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and more often than not I skip it due to not being organised. This week I’ve made sure I have a protein bar, banana or frittata to choose from for breakfast and eating it makes sure I don’t make interesting food choices for other meals (like twisties for brunch).
- Learn to love yourself! Manly Matt thinks my body is kicking (he likes curves) and I have to remind myself that it’s my body and it’s pretty awesome. No I don’t have legs like bambi but I have a good rack. I have a full butt and there’s a good smattering of cellulite but save getting liposuction (so not gonna happen – it’s just not me) it’s mine, I have nice arms (there’s no wobble gobble on the underside), a pretty face, but above all I have a good heart and a willingness to always try and be positive.
PS. This is week 1 and so far I had a slip up last night: I didn’t eat enough at work which resulted in a Man Vs Food moment in my kitchen when I prepared my dinner – homemade chicken parmigiana, oven roasted chips, and garlic bread….But today I’m on track with banana & sml hot chocolate for breakfast, 4 lindt squares, cottage pie with sweet potato mash and vegetables for lunch, fruit and protein bar for snacks. Tonight I’m having the leftover chicken with a little mash and vegetables.
PPS. So obviously I’m doing a paleo diet or becoming Vegan (I’m sure both are great) because that is not me. I love bread and I love meat!