single solutions

Heya blogmates …. look who’s baacckkk!! Now the crisis at work is over I can relax a little today and spend some time catching up on the blog. I just read this very funny piece by the delightful Rosie about single behaviours…What you do when you’re single, or even just home alone without your spouse around. The results are hilarious, and it got me to thinking about the behaviours I have as I don’t live with Manly Matt – it’s just Coco and my flatmate:

  • I drink straight from the bottle of sparkling water, milk, and juice.
  • I dance and sing in front of my mirror – mostly naked.
  • I sing out loud sitting on my lounge. Normally show tunes.
  • I watch Disney flicks. I love frozen; and yes I do sing along with the movie.
  • I eat potato crisps like they’re going out of fashion.
  • I’m known (when I have the house 100% to myself) to wander through to the kitchen to get myself a snack naked.
  • I have named my sex toys Clive, Magic Mike and the bullet gang (yep I said ‘toys’ as in plural).
  • I have a ‘secret weddings hopes and dreams’ board on Pintrest.
  • I love any singing reality TV show – the voice, XFactor, (insert country name here) Got Talent, etc.
  • I love to watch Better Homes and Gardens whilst eating junk food and drinking wine ….All the while coveting the amazing food they make on it.
  • I brought an extra long lead for my iPhone charger just so I can charge my phone and watch porn, read dirty stories, do online shopping, etc (I have unlimited WiFi) all in bed without having to stretch my arms for the phone whilst it’s charging.
  • I got unlimited WiFi so no one could stop me from watching all the free porn, downloading erotica onto my kindle app, or any of those people acting as cats/dogs videos on Youtube.
  • I practice award acceptance speeches and actually get choked up by them.
  • I let Coco lick my plate or bowl after I’ve eaten (relax people I own a dishwasher which blasts the doggy germs with super hot water and a cleaning tablet).
  • As soon as I get home (provided I don’t have to go anywhere) I change into my Pjs.
  • I drink wine and then eat twisties for dinner followed by a chocolate bar for dessert!

What about you? Any behaviours you have when it’s just you at home??