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My mum is an amazing woman. In her almost 60 years on this planet she’s lived so much, seen so much & been through a lot of heartache.

She’s always got my back. She’s fierce, loyal & loves with everything she’s got! She’s beautiful with high cheek bones and bright brown eyes. Her hair cut is like Charlize Theron’s crop. She’s got a great set of pins on her too!

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She’s a fiery Leo and I love that she says what’s on her mind rather than bottling it up. She’s intelligent and determined. From someone who barely knew how to turn on a computer she taught herself how to use Facebook & is a social media wizz. She reads my blog (despite my posts about men & sex – sorry mum), takes a good selfie & pretty soon she’ll be on Insta too! We have an amazing relationship – nothing is off limits. I know sometimes she wishes it was – I can be a big over sharer! But I am so fucking blessed to have that – I can call her up & tell her anything. Her arms are always open for her children and even though she’s gunning for marriage and grand kids from us ultimately she just wants us to be happy.

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Last night we had the beautiful Candice & Cristian’s engagement party. There was a lot of love, dancing, far too much champagne, way too many selfies, and at the end of it all we were very happy & very drunk.

On our taxi drive home the cab driver was an asshole. Granted it’s a tough gig ferrying drunk people to and from their homes in the wee hours, but he didn’t know basic addresses and it seemed to us all he was deliberately taking us the long way home in order to charge a higher fare. Mum decided she’d had enough and told him to pull over as she wanted to get in another taxi. Did I mention it was 1.20am in the middle of a super busy road in Brisbane?? I told her to stop being stupid and other stuff I don’t remember (oh champagne you bad bad bad thing – you give me the honesty voice but don’t let me remember what I said) which resulted in her wanting more out & next thing you know we’re both out on the street screaming at each other. Then the taxi is leaving (I do remember telling them to go) and mums crying and calling my dad (who’s 3.5 hrs away) …. I’m yelling, “I love you, but fuck you!”

Long story short a guardian angel Joel saw us and picked us up and drove us home to my aunts. If he hadn’t I don’t know when we would’ve got home. Mum was hysterical (& rightly so – who’s dumb idea was it to pay attention to the drunk women and leave us on the side of the road?). She did calm down but I fear the damage is done… I don’t know if she’ll be talking to me this morning and in the cold harsh light of a monster hangover I can understand why. She’s always got my back, she’s always putting others first & last night a lot of people (me, her daughter included, let her down).

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She loves to tell me a story of when I was 3. She was crying over princess Diana on the TV walking out of the hospital with her baby prince Harry; mum had left hospital a few weeks earlier after giving birth but she didn’t have her baby. My beloved brother died after only being alive an hour. I came up to her sobbing on the floor and rubbed her back and said, “there, there mummy. Don’t cry”. I wish last night I could’ve done that instead of yelling at her.

So I’m sorry mum. Please forgive me. I fucked up. I love you x

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