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lifeofmissb

The travel life & Adventures of me; Brooke. 30 something. Loves to Travel ✈️. Drink scotch. Eat good food. Workout.

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online dating

34

birthday brooke
Me enjoying a drink or two

better

It was my birthday last month. I turned 34. I started writing a post about being 34 and the fact that I decided to spend my birthday in Melbourne with my BFF rather than Ridge Forrester. But I got distracted and the post never made it out of draft….Because well, Life. I’ve been so busy living I’ve been neglecting my blog which isn’t good. I’ll try to be better from now on.

So here’s my updated draft on turning 34…

I love birthdays. I believe they should be celebrated. A true Leo I delight in my special day and being feted as the royal lion I am.

Last year I was dumped the night before my birthday by Manly Matt. Though in retrospect you could say as we weren’t actually in a committed relationship (we were just dating…He treated like a sport, I was trying to make a go of it) it wasn’t really a breakup (it still hurt though). Despite this I put on my glad rags and invited a bunch of people to dinner at a local restaurant (read the recap here and here)… I didn’t need a man and celebrated my birthday surrounded by loved ones.

This year, despite my romance with Ridge Forrester, I decided to book my annual sales trip to Melbourne over my birthday week. I did this in part to take away the birthday ‘pressure’ I put on myself when I’m involved with someone. What will he get me? What if he doesn’t get me anything? So much stress!! Then when it worked out Mr Forrester would be overseas on a pre-Brooke-booked holiday when it was my birthday it felt like the right decision. There’d be no chance of me stressing/moping miss him as I’d be too busy visiting vibrant Melbourne to do so. Not to mention I could catch up with my best friend R. You can read my recap on Melbourne 2015 here plus some handy travel tips!

cocktail state of grace
birthday cocktail State of Grace Melbourne http://www.stateofgracemelbourne.com.au/

I found this little quiz on Facebook today and I thought I’d answer it as a 34 year old.

A- Age: 34
B- Biggest Fear: Death of my loved ones.
C- Current Time: 11.40am
D- Drink you last had: Hot Chocolate from Zaffaras
E- Easiest Person To Talk to: My mum.

F- Favorite Song: A Sunday Kind of Love
G- Ghosts, are they real: Yes. But feel free to believe what you want.
H- Hometown: Ballarat, Victoria, Australia.
I- In love with: Mr Forrester
J- Jealous Of: Beyonce’s bootilicious body!

K- Killed Someone? Not yet.
L- Last time you cried?:  Over a week ago
M- Middle Name: Anne
N- Number of Siblings: 2
O- One Wish:  That refugees find sanctuary
P- Person who you last called: My Dad
Q- Question you’re always asked: How’s your day?
R- Reason to smile: Mr Forrester, Travel, Friends….Life x
S- Song last sang: Marvin Gaye (Let’s Marvin Gaye and Get it On)
T- Time you woke up: 5.50am
U- Underwear Color: Pink
V- Vacation Destination: Europe (in 4 days)
W- Worst Habit: Talking over people (I can’t stop).
X- Xrays you’ve had: My Left Foot.
Y- Your favorite food: Wine.
Z- Zodiac Sign: LEO

I’d like to use this again and again on my birthday….Who know’s what the next year will bring?

Oh and in case you missed it; I’m in love with Ridge Forrester.

He is truly so lovely, respectful and kind, thoughtful, funny, handsome, good to his mother and sisters, as well as a tiger in the bedroom (sorry mum TMI). From the first date it’s been so good and right; and things just continue to get better each day. He’s never far from my thoughts and he admitted last night I’m not far from his. He’s been telling me for weeks that I make him happy and I’ve secretly been thinking; ‘You make me love you’ in my mind. Last night he murmured into my ear that he is falling in love with me….Don’t worry RF, I’m already there and I’ll catch you.

Fraser Island Ferry
Mr Forrester and I enroute to Fraser Island

It would be amazing if you could cut and paste the above A-Z questions and re-post with your answers. I promise it’s really easy, quick and relatively pain free. Just comment below with a link to your blog with the answers if you feel like trying it. Go on, it’ll be fun and I can’t wait to see your answers.

I heart Weekend 

on Saturday night Ridge Forrester had date night for the Cooly Rocks On Festival. 

Cooly Rocks on is Austrslia’s largest 1950s festival complete with rock n roll dancers, fashion and some serious muscle cars. 

Did I mention that we’re now calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend AND we’re planning a mini-break soon to getaway just us. #swoon.

Festival pics & our official Instagram couple photo: 

   

  

  

  

 After a few red wines (a gentle Yarra Valley Pinot Noir) we ended up at a food truck selling pulled pork rolls….omg they were so good! 

On my way home Sunday I was inspired to make my own pulled pork in the slow cooker! I found a fabulous sauce recipe here. The results were impressive…. I’ve had a simple slider with the pulled pork and slaw for breakfast & dinner 2 days in a row. Tomorrow I’m planning pulled pork tacos and then fajitas for Wednesday night date night. 

   

  

  

 I’ve got so much pork I need suggestions fog another 3 meals….. What do you recommend? 

Ps. How was your weekend? 

The Bacchie Files 8: Exclusive

This is old news for me but new news for all my readers. Let’s travel back in time a few weeks ago….

exclusive

I’ve deleted my online dating apps, I’m not dating any other men, and I’m exclusively dating Ridge Forrester. We had this conversation last night:

RF: “I’m assuming we’re exclusive right? I’m not seeing anyone else, are you?”

Me: “Correct. I’m not seeing anyone else either. I don’t’ want to see anyone else.”

RF: “Me either.”

Me: “Thank you for double checking though, assumptions aren’t good.”

RF: “Yeah, they lead to people getting hurt.”

Is exclusive the new going steady? I can’t call him my boyfriend yet can I? He’s not my boyfriend; he’s the man I’m exclusively seeing. Oh my, it all sounds so New York City.

I can’t tell you all how different this feels: it feels right and good. Sometimes I feel like I’ve known him forever; other times I know barely anything about him. This feels like something special. The ribbons that hold everything about us as individuals together are unravelling at an unhurried pace….We talk about our lives and our friends. The future is vague and who knows what will happen there. I do know this; no matter what happens with this man I have found someone I want to have a relationship with, someone I’m willing to give time to see where it goes. If it all goes sour I at least know what I’m looking for moving forward.

The Bacchie Files 7: Ridge Forrester

The Bacchie Files 7: Ridge Forrester

I know you’ve all been hanging on the edge of your seats waiting for the next instalment of the Bacchie files. My bad for making you wait. Forgive me; I’ve been rather busy dating and haven’t had time for my lovely readers.

Previously on the Bacchie Files: I had a defcon 5 meltdown as I was convinced I was being ghosted by 2 men I’d been on dates with. Turns out my meltdown was completely unwarranted as they both contacted me days after I wrote that post – turns out they were just busy! Since then I haven’t seen The Moroccan again but I have seen Just Jonathan again.

Now: So I saw Just Jonathan again when he offered to take me to dinner and then suggested as he was so cash strapped we eat in instead. In his defence he was saving for an overseas holiday so I understood. I even understood when he requested we have dinner at mine – after all he lives with a grumpy flatmate who doesn’t tolerate guests. I live with flatmates who I bribed with my luscious two toned chocolate mousse to give me the house to myself. I cooked, he showed up with a bottle of red. After dinner we talked. Then we kissed and …..

hes not that into youThen he didn’t contact me for days, almost a week in fact! I text him here and there, checking in to see how he was going. Finally about 2 weeks later he invited himself back over for dinner one night (insert eyeroll here). I cooked, he showed up with a bottle of wine. We kissed and…. I began to realise that whilst Just Jonathan isn’t a bad guy; he wasn’t the guy for me. There were times during those 2 dinner dates when I seriously thought he was a self-important wanker. The top 5 reasons why it would never work are:

  1. He NEVER took me out to dinner! I know this sounds like I’m a princess but he asked me on a DATE! People who date GO OUT! It doesn’t have to be fancy – I’d be happy with a pizza on the beach. Just take me out damnit.
  2. He wasn’t that into me. I know people are busy but really 5-7 days to text me back? I get busy too; I have a life, but I always text back those who I want too….I rest my case.
  3. He didn’t like my dog. He used to bang on about the dogs him and his ex owned together (tiny little things) and how awesome they were. He once growled (literally, like a dog) at Coco when she went near him. #douche
  4. On that note: HE’S NOT OVER HIS EX! Me and Dating was 100% right…He mentioned her at least once during each date.
  5. ALL OF THE ABOVE

It’s been weeks (6) since I’ve seen him. Last week he text twice in one week to indicate that we should catch up when he gets back….I wished him a lovely holiday. I won’t be seeing him again; he’s not the man for me.

Moving on…..I’ve met someone else. I’d been chatting to this a guy for only a week or 2. I’m going to call him Ridge Forrester – he’s tall, dark, handsome and intelligent. Plus he has hair, real hair! It’s dark brown/black just like Ridge on bold and the beautiful.

He was friendly and we had some good chats. To be honest I can’t remember a lot of what we chatted about but I thought he was lovely and I would jump onto the platform if I saw a message from him. I was feeling confident so I asked if we could meet up when he was free.

1st date outfit

First Date recap

Location: Coolangatta – a really cool restaurant just near my place that does yummy wood fired pizzas.

What I wore: a long black maxi dress, ankle boots and an open denim shirt as a jacket

Who Paid: He did

Line of the date: NA. We didn’t stop talking the whole time and even closed the restaurant we didn’t want to leave.

As far as first dates go this one is up there as one of the best. It was rainy and the first time I’ve needed a jacket this year. Plus I’ve always wanted to go to Bread & Butter as I’ve heard great things about it. But aside from the food the company was the real winner this time. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt so comfortable around a man and we talked all night. We’ve got a lot in common and he was super attentive. Neither of us wanted to leave and so it was up to the staff to move us on. He offered to walk me to my car and I almost poked his eye out with my umbrella (hello miss clumsy) but we made it in the end. Then I offered to drop him back to his around the corner where I got to meet his dog River.

Did I mention he has a dog? And that he likes dogs in general! Also he text me first checking in to say he had a great time and wanted to see me again….

Since then we’ve had more dinners/dates. We’re up to double digit dates now:

  1. Dinner with pizza and red wine. I surprised us both by giving him a quick kiss goodbye on the mouth….Told you I felt comfortable.
  2. Dinner with lamb shanks (I’m still dreaming of these shanks) and more red wine. He kissed me first.
  3. GoT date. I brought dinner to him (courtesy of my 30 day challenge food rules) and we watched the first episode of season 5 at his. I should mention he’s a total nerd….River is named after the girl in firefly, his WiFi is named Mother of Dragons (for real). But I like that about him with a capital L.
  4. Thai dinner on the beach with River. Plus he came and met my Coco Pop and loved her (of course he did she’s awesome).
  5. Sunday morning Breakfast….This started when I dropped over to say hi on my way home from a night out. He offered me breakfast the next day; so I stayed.
  6. GoT date 2. This season is actually really quite good. He has a BIG television *wink*
  7. Doggy walk date with our pups. River was the picture of a well behaved dog. Coco was crazy!
  8. Dinner and a Movie (plus breakfast the next day)
  9. A surprise invitation to come over, snuggle and watch a movie (he’d had a few drinks during lunch and missed me)
  10. GoT Tuesday….It’s become a tradition!
  11. So many more dates!

happy dayIt’s early days but so far its been soooo good. He really is very lovely. I’m into him; I like him A LOT. I almost haven’t blogged about him as I want to keep it to myself; but I promised when I started this blog I would share my life and so I am. Watch this space for more updates about Ridge Forrester….

The Bacchie Files #7 The Subtle Art of Ghosting

If you’ve been online dating recently you might’ve heard of a something called ‘ghosting’. You might’ve even ‘ghosted’ someone without knowing it.

 “Ghosting” or “slow fading” describes the ending of a relationship by one party who gradually removes him or herself from the other person’s life—via canceled plans and decreased communication—until eventually, all communication ceases. The relationship ends, though there’s most often no formal explanation from the “ghoster.”

Check out this awesome graph about female and male ghosting habits:

ghosting habits

I believe I’m being ghosted by two men I’ve recently been on dates with: The Moroccan and Just Jonathan. Both men have been texting me throughout the week and then as of Friday evening there hasn’t been any further contact. Nothing. Nada. Zip. The last bit of contact I had with either of them was a series of text messages to arrange a suitable time/place for a second date (separately and on different nights, of course).

re-directedI could be overreacting but my gut tells me a ghosting is occurring. Though maybe I’m not; maybe they just had super busy weekends working and having their own lives, and just didn’t find a spare 30 seconds to contact me via text. Also I noticed the other night Jonathan had deleted me from his list of contacts on POF. I had planned on asking him about this on our second date; especially as his messages were pretty flirtatious and I have no intention of sleeping with someone who is already planning his exit strategy via online dating, but alas I don’t believe there will be a date number two.

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Basically they’re just not that into me and I should let it go. After all who wants to pursue something with a man who doesn’t take the time to check in on how your weekend is. I know I could’ve messaged them this myself to see how they were going but something (let’s call it a strong sense of self preservation and instinct) held me back.  Who knows what’s changed; or if they just began to listen to the honesty voice inside of them and decided to step away.

I have enough confidence to know this situation is out of my control. I couldn’t have done anything differently – the result would’ve been the same. My actions haven’t caused this, I didn’t do anything wrong. Dating is a game of numbers and probability; this time the numbers just didn’t stack up.

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I won’t deny it hurts. You go on a date with someone and have a great time; you’re interested, you want to see them again. Then there’s follow up post date and even the early stages of planning for date number two; then all of a sudden nothing. Contact is broken. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve checked my phone this past 96 hours.

I’ve ghosted 2 men myself: Mr Swan and Cheeky Steve. I didn’t meet either of them in person; I gave them my number to get in contact with the view to arrange a time to go on a date. Then they got a little weird and I realised I didn’t even want to meet them in person. So I deleted their old messages and did the same to any new ones.

Therefore in light of this I thought I’d share my thoughts on how to ‘break it off’ in the modern online dating era:

  • If you give someone your number and then realise it might’ve been a mistake. Then it’s acceptable to not respond to messages and then delete/block the number.
  • If you’ve gone a date or two (I believe in second chances) and not been intimate, then by all means text the person and tell them politely why you don’t want to see them again.
  • If you’ve had more than a few dates and been intimate with someone then really a sit down conversation is respectful. The ideal response would be to send flowers (or a bottle of whiskey) with a note that says; “I can’t do this, I’m sorry.”

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What do you think? Is it bad manners to just ignore someone? Should I change my behaviour when it comes to letting potential bacchies know I’m just not that interested (It has crossed my mind that it’s a karma for ghosting Mr Swan and Cheeky Steve)? Or should I just accept that this is the way it’s done?

The bacchie files #6 Flashback Friday

Flashback Friday: Facebook never lies

A trip down dating memory lane for the latest version of the Bacchie files. No news to report on The Moroccan or Just Jonathan. The texting continues but no real dates have been set. I may have something lined up with another man Marky Mark (he has the muscles to match the real Marky Mark) next week but we’ll see.

At the start of last year (2014) I had a few dates with a man I like to call Sweet Dave. Sweet Dave was a nice man and for the short time I knew him he treated me like a princess. But there was no ‘spark’ no real chemistry between us. I dated him because he was nice and I felt I should give him a chance. He helped me realise my whole biscuit analogy, click on the link for more info.

Date #1

A walk on the beach with Coco and I. He was smitten, she was playing up and barking, and I thought he was sweet and nice.

Date #2

Drinks at the fabulously quirky Stingray Bar at QT Hotel in Surfers Paradise. It was fun but a little awkward as I’d brought the bestie R with me (she was visiting and we were catching up with other people after my date). Things began to unravel here as I was beginning to realise that I wasn’t really feeling it. Then I had a drink and kissed him (luckily I didn’t have more drinks as I would’ve slept with him – drunk Brooke makes poor decisions). The kiss was sweet, tentative, and gentle…..There was no Spark.

panda memeDate #3

A quick mid-week dinner at my fav Mexican place Guzman Y Gomez. Takeaway Mexican that is the closest I’ve ever tasted in Australia that reminded me of all the amazing Mexican I ate in America years ago. I knew it was a mistake to have a third date and I’m sure he did too. He didn’t pay for my $12 burrito (his only flaw – apart from being too nice) and really if your date can’t pay for your burrito you know it’s never gonna work! Of course he wanted to walk me back to my car and have a pash at the end of the night…..I wasn’t impressed; you get to kiss me but you no pay for burrito???

I finally broke it off via text message. Not my finest hour I agree – but as

Dear Davewe’d only been on 3 dates and just kissed (not slept together) I felt justified in my actions. I think a well worded text is much nicer than having someone “ghost” you. I got a very nice message back from Sweet Dave in response which was so very sweet of him.

Fast forward to a few months ago. I noticed he’d un-friended me on Facebook; no dramas at my end. It’s totally his choice and after all I’m just some woman he went on 3 dates who dumped him via text, he doesn’t need me a as a Facebook friend.

Any-the-who when I was inviting friends to join my blog page a few weeks after that his name popped up in the list (of course I didn’t invite him…that would be weird). However, I was intrigued – could I have been re-added without my knowledge? So I did some unpaid private investigating and found out nope, I hadn’t been re-added at all. It was just some weird Facebook thing. But more importantly the last post on Sweet Dave’s wall was he was in a relationship with a woman (you know people should really learn to guard their Facebook profiles). My first thought was happiness – Good on you Sweet Dave! I’m happy he found someone because he really is a sweet man and I’m sure he’s currently treating his girlfriend like an absolute princess. Maybe they’ll all live happily ever after – I hope so.

When I went to post this today I did a little check on Sweet Dave and his new GF Sweet Carissa. Looks like they’re still going strong: How awesome is that?

snow white memeThe epilogue of this story is that this right now I’m in a good place. I wish everyone happiness and love and I don’t envy those who have it. I smile at the sunshine, laugh at the rain and sing every chance I get.  I’m pretty much Snow-Freaking-White with the exception of an evil stepmother, living with 7 men and some dude hunting me down to kill me….Fingers crossed someday my prince will come!

The bacchie files #5

i should date meThe tale of 1 Weekend: 2 Dates

Finally I have been asked out and I went on 2 dates with 2 very different men last weekend! For those of you playing the home game we have 1 new player (the Moroccan) and 1 player from previous episodes (Just Jonathan).

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bathroom selfie

Date 1: The Moroccan

Location: Byron Bay

What I wore: Singlet, harem pants and leopard print flats.

Who Paid: He did

Line of the date: I may be a PT but I like my women with curves (oh be still my beating heart).

I spent Valentine’s Day night alone and watched my favourite season of Sex and The City. It’s the sixth season when she falls in love with the Russian & goes to Paris before Big comes to rescue her. Don’t stress I wasn’t sad; I had a grand time watching my show, drinking my wine and hanging out with Coco Pop. I even had cheesecake!

The Russian reminds me of my date with The Moroccan. He’s half French half Moroccan , a part time personal trainer/security guard, confident, and he made me break all of my first date rules! First impressions; he was built.

cimo bird
Almost a deal breaker…Filthy birds

We met up for a drink which got quickly upgraded to a meal. First rule break; I never eat a meal on the first date. What if you meet and realise they’re a loser? Then you’re stuck with them through food… But there’s something about this man. He’s younger 28-29 to my 33-34 but he’s very confident. So we ate and talked and flirted. Then we walked along the beach where there were kisses. And more kisses. Then honest to goodness making out. Another rule break…. I don’t normally kiss them passionately on the first date. But the Moroccan has big beautiful lips & I knew I had to try them before the night was done.

Cimo workout
Hello muscles

After the beach and the kissing there was more…. But this woman isn’t one to kiss and tell. I will say he is an excellent kisser.

I feel he might be a short time lover not a keeper. We’ll see. He contacted me this morning to check in which surprised me. Also I have to remind myself of what I want.

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Sorry about the mess in my room

Date 2: Just Jonathan

Location: Broadbeach Bowls Club

What I wore: Silk cami, printed shorts and black strappy flats.

Who Paid: 50/50

Line of the date: I really enjoyed spending time with you and want to go to stage 2. I want to see you more.

Jonathan
cute. very cute

He suggested barefoot bowls and to be honest I was nervous. I kept thinking of that scene in Bridget Jones edge of reason where she’s picking a dress for the law society dinner. Her friend turns to her and says,”No pressure Bridget, but your entire life’s happiness depends on this event”. Plus I’m really competitive and didn’t know if I would be able to curb my enthusiasm if I won!

I was so nervous I was early! He arrived and first impressions – cute, short (around my height), a little scrawny, killer smile, terrible taste in shoes (he had those awful slip on trendy laceless sneakers).

Jono fly
Almost like top gun

We grabbed drinks and chatted. He used the word behest in a sentence *sigh*. He’s intelligent, driven, ambitious, can fly a plane, and knows what he wants. We played barefoot bowls (and flirted – he smacked my bottom at one point) for almost 2 hours. I won once. He won the other games. He swore he has only ever played once before – I suspect this was on the junior Olympics team. But it’s totally fine; I was a gracious loser (this time).

The farewell was a kiss on the cheek and a hug along with the promise of wanting to see me again. Then he said he wants to take it to Stage 2….I’m hoping Stage 2 means dinner and making out.

Since the end of date #2 both men have contacted me to see how my day is etc etc. What do you think? Is there a clear winner here?

Also it’s ladies choice for date number 2 (or is it stage 2) with Just Jonathan. What should I do? Something active that involves ice cream.

My bestie tells me I’m still single until I get a ring on my finger (or an exclusivity discussion)…Hence I’m thinking that for now I’ll keep them both and see how it goes.

The bacchie files #4

My journey through the land of online dating continues…. I’m searching for a man who can hold my attention for more than 3 days.

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But first a recap from my last post:
Of the previous players only one made it past the first week. Mr Swan asked for my number – I gave it to him and the first offline conversations commenced. They didn’t get far. I felt like he was trying to create an intimacy between us without really getting to know me. He wouldn’t answer my questions coming back with something vague and when I tried to delve deeper he’d change the subject. He made no effort to want to know me on a deeper level and was overly fond of calling my endearments – all the freaking time! Sweetie, beautiful, honey were all I heard. He never asked me about my life or why I was single. He was more than happy to keep it light n easy with that dangle of, “Let’s meet up for coffee soon sweetie”, always in plain sight. It felt contrived – like he was saying everything he thought a woman would want to hear. I was beginning to realise I just wasn’t into this man as I didn’t want to call him on his behaviour. Then I dropped my phone , it died and I lost all my contacts/messages… Coincidence? I think not.

Moving on…. This episodes players are:

1. Le Chef
The chef calls me cutie or princess. I don’t mind the nicknames – shock horror. The online conversations have been light and fun – we’ve swapped stories on jobs, what we like to do outdoors and where we live. I suspect he likes a slower pace in the getting to know you phase. We’ve exchanged numbers and he calls every day or so for a chat. I suspect he keeps it light as there’s stuff he doesn’t want to delve into to… But he won’t get the chance to do this as I am determined to get over my fear of asking the right questions to gauge if he’s a fit for me. Check out this link and watch the video for more info.

FYI I’m sure this is all common sense stuff but I know a whole heap of girlfriends (myself included) who keep meeting men and not asking these important things. My very smart friend Sharon tells me I need to be more emotionally open – reflect what you want to attract. I am craving a deep connection not a passing fancy.

He mentioned the other night he wants to come visit me (he lives approx 6 hour drive away). I was on the verge of telling him that sounded like a good idea and asking him where he would stay (not with me – I don’t want it to be a given sex is on the table until we’ve met face to face. Besides I like the idea that it sex comes back on the table we can go and fool around in his hotel room) when his phone died! Since then he’s had poor reception so we’ll see. Trying not to let my inner cynic have a field day with this.

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2. Jonathan
I like Jonathan. A lot. There’s something about him that makes me sit up and take notice – other than being tall, dark and handsome. He doesn’t get a nickname. He’s just Jonathan. This man knows what he wants. When I asked him why he was single his response was, “because I haven’t met the right woman yet. I want to find someone who is special enough to give my affection too and is worthy of my love.” Some might say a little arrogant but I like the honesty….what do you think?

We’ve had conversations about those must ask questions. He thinks my dog is awesome (she is! He’s only the second man to mention coco – major brownie points, she’s important to me, I mention her in my profile). He’s intelligent – currently completing his MBA, articulate, likes to cook, travel, and has one of the best profiles I’ve read in a long time:

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He works in security for a hospital (anyone who knows me is groaning – another security guard, Brooke, really? So sue me I like a manly man) and most importantly he has hair! Also he openly stated he rarely goes onto the POF app but contacted me as liked my profile. He didn’t reappear for days and confessed he only came on to check if I’d messaged him. Well me and his other POF girlfriends I suppose.

3. Cheeky Steve
Cheeky Steve is the first man who I think I’d need a safe word with. This man is not vanilla and my non-conventional heart desires this. I’ve been upfront and told him I don’t want another lover/fling, I’m looking for a relationship. He assures me he’s open to seeing where it goes. I think he’s full of BS . I’ll confess though I’m very tempted by him.

Dis- honourable mentions
A new edition to the bacchie files.

Do you remember my friendPauly – remember we dated for 5 minutes almost 2 years ago? Since then we’ve had a few little flings but nothing serious. We want different things so it will never work. I’ve vowed to stop fooling around with him as I want to meet someone special, not just someone to pass the time with.

Pauly thought he would try and be funny this week contacting me on the POF platform pretending to be a potential suitor. He then went on to slut shame me but telling me to tweak my profile otherwise I might attract the wrong men. Here’s my thoughts on this….

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I double checked my profile with my bestie R and she conceded it could do with some cleaning up. So I replaced dominant in bed with – willingness to compromise, same same right?

Then there’s this guy…. Just what anyone would want to hear… “I’m bored, amuse me”.

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People who can’t read my profile which clearly says I’m looking for a relationship for the long term….

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I’m not a grammar nazi…. Much.

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I’m in New Zealand for work with the day job for the next 9 days so I doubt there will be any bacchie updates but I’ll keep you posted.

Before you go…. What are your thoughts on my current suitors?

The Bacchie files #2

laugh date Have you ever wondered if online dating is like The Bachelor the home game? The difference is that you don’t know what the other women you are competing against look like? Plus there’s no rose ceremony….Just a delete and block functionality.

Today in Brooke’s Bacchie land I wish to introduce some new players to the game…..

online dating picThe man without a face

Danny contacted me this morning. His profile name is BigDikDan…So much for mystery? His profile pic was of him with 2 small children (well at least we know his BigDik works) but then seconds later it was a cartoon. POF drives me mad that people can sign up without a profile picture. However I did have a nice, but brief conversation with Danny; I’d happily chat to him again – if only to request he load up more profile pictures. In the 5 short exchanges we had he didn’t refer to me by my name, he asked if I have KiK (seriously – I’m a 33 yr old woman – my cousin who is 13 has KiK) and then asked if he could have my number to give me a call. I haven’t responded….

why do you want my number For a moment there I thought I was being paranoid and a big ole scaredy cat – why couldn’t I give him my number? Open heart, open mind and all that jazz. If I met this man out and chatted to him and there was chemistry I would most likely pass over my number. Wait up! If I had met this man out I would know what he looked like and would be able to get a real gauge of our chemistry face to face – therefore I could make an educated choice on the matter. Also he’s only looking for ‘casual dating/no commitment’ and honestly that is not what I’m looking for. What do you think? Should I have given him my number? After all his profile name suggests I might have a good time….

SONY DSC Mr Swan 

Mr tall, dark and handsome Swan contacted me within 24 hours and I was instantly attracted to his photos. Great eyes, cute smile, potential beefy body. Plus he didn’t try to smooze me….A simple; “Hi Brooke, how are you on this lovely evening”  was his opening line. Simplicity gets me every time…I don’t need corny lines – I prefer real and direct. Of course it helped he told me that he thinks I’m a beautiful woman swoon! So there’s been a little chatting back and forth – so far so good. This morning something interesting happened:

Him: Have a good day sweety xx

Me: Thanks, you too. xox 

Now for the record I only do the xox for my friends and family. It surprised me that I wanted to send it back. Maybe it was politeness but I know it wasn’t….I’m interested to learn more about this man.

Before you all point the finger at the spelling error in sweetie – I know, I noticed it too. I’ll admit I have some reservations…

His profile is short and talks about wanting to find someone genuine who doesn’t expect more than he’s willing to give and he’s sick of getting his heart broken.

Join the club dude! This has raised a yellow flag with me….I’m not into damaged goods and his profile is pretty blunt. My gut tells me he’s been searching for love and finding it hard – however I worry about the ‘expect more than willing to give’…Does this mean he’s selfish? Only one way to find out – ASK!

Then there’s Brett. He’s a science nerd (seriously a medical researcher) who reminds me a little of my ex Tim (you haven’t heard about him – he was a good one). He looks like normal to slim build with longer hair (for the record Mr Swan also has hair). I met him on Tinder and he has a wicked sense of humour. We’re currently discussing the rules to a tickling contest that may or may not happen sometime in the future. He’s cute. He also has a little foot fetish.

Watch this space…Anything could happen! Plus I may have some on RSVP as well.

Thoughts….Feedback….What do y’all think blogmates?? Any real suitors there??

The Bacchie files #1

Today’s Highlights are brought to by a sleep deprived 30 something woman who is questioning her sanity at entering the shallow shallow waters of the online dating pool…..

Another hard limit: it’s never ok to comment on my hair. Unless it is to compliment me.

Bacchie Michael had promise. More than 1 profile pic, has hair (I keep dating men without hair…. Hence I need to diversify), a job and is kind to his nephews. However this evening he committed a cardinal sin in suggesting a makeover for my hair….

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I suspect there’s also a vague reference to helping me loose weight. Thanks Michael but no one, no one, tells me how I should wear my hair. Unless he’s John Frieda.

Then this morning I can across this eligible bacchie….

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Now he comes accross as a stand up guy. Polite, well mannered, good grammar (Rob you would approve) but there’s a few yellow flags:
1. The freaking spider in his profile pic!!! Really? I hate spiders. Hate them. I’m thinking this is another hard limit.
2. He’s into motorbikes, I’m not. Call me lame but the only power I want between my legs is a man…. Or a JetSki.
3. He has no hair. I’d be type casting myself….. The last 3 men have all had no hair!

The search continues….

What do you think? Should I lower my lists of hard limits and open my mind?

The first 24 hours

It’s not even been 24 hours since I signed up to online dating again & I’m already inundated with eligible bachelors…. Or not. Today’s top 2 bachies are as follows:

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I’m thinking I need to update my profile to include a few ‘hard limits’ of my own….
1. No eyebrow piercings…. Just no.
2. I get sea-sick looking at boats & don’t fish. Period. If you want a fisher-lady to join your fishing team – keep looking!

Also I can’t help but notice that the men who’ve contacted me this time all look very familiar…. In fact we may have chatted last time I used online dating. It’s time to expand my online dating pool …. There’s RSVP, eHarmony, Tinder & OkCupid to sign up too….

Calling out all online daters…. Which app/website do you recommend???

Online Dating….Reboot!!!

So I’ve decided to wade back into the online dating pool….. It’s scary  and yes I’ve been hurt before but I feel ready. Well no, not really. I’d like to have firmed up my body and be feeling fitter but the honest truth is that over the course of the years of my life my body is going to move up and down the scales, I will be fit and then I will be un-fit. Rather than wait until my body is where I feel it should be I am embracing how it looks now….Complete with spare tire plus extra curves and cellulite. This is me. Brace yourselves POF (plenty of fish…AKA plenty of freaks, here I come).

brooke pof profile

As they say in American Top Model…Here are my best shots!

IMG_7676 sucker for snakes OCT 14 NOV 2014 merci brisbane SEP 2014 halloween 2014

Wish me luck!

Who else is trying online dating??? Any stories to share??

The truth about Biscuits

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My flatmate Bonnie and I are both single at the moment and she’s been out and about meeting new people. 2 weeks ago she met Paul-James (his real name is Paul but I think he looks like a James so therefore he is christened Paul-James or even PJ for short) through Facebook and then in person at his work.

Seriously she met him through Facebook – he was in the ‘other folder’ in the private message mailbox.

Anyways I don’t think much of PJ but I’m not dating him. However when I asked Bonnie how she felt about hi she said, “oh, he’s nice. I wasn’t instantly like ‘I wanna rip your clothes off’ but he’s so nice.” I looked at her and said, “You know what’s nice? Biscuits are nice. Do you want to fuck biscuits? No. Unless you have a biscuit fetish or something. Or do you want some passion?”

“…..Biscuits are nice. Do you want to fuck biscuits?”

Now I’m not saying don’t date/fall in love/ sleep with the nice guy. You should probably do that – after all he’s a good guy and will most likely do good by you. I am saying don’t settle for some guy because he best thing going for him is He’s so nice. You both deserve better than that x

I’ve dated my share of guys who are soooo nice and I’m not proud to admit I’ve settled and stayed with partners because I know I have it good with them. That chemistry/lust/moth to a flame attraction might be missing but these men have been so nice I wanted to see if I could fall in love with them anyways. I’ve been told how much of a “nice” girl I am and I’m sure some men have dated me because of this…. For the record I don’t want you to want to be with me because I’m so nice and I fit your checklist. I want to be with you because you think that I’m awesome and I feel the same way about you!

What do you think? Do you need to have that chemistry with your partner or this not that important… What’s underneath counts more?

The first time #firsttime #babymac

my name is earlI was inspired today by a post from the fabulous Beth over at BabyMac. She asked us to comment about the first time we saw the one we loved….As I’m currently on man ban (but my heart is in a better place this week) I thought I’d walk you down memory lane and tell you about those men I’ve loved (and who lost me ha ha). So in order of when I met them here they are….

#1 Cameron. He was my first real boyfriend. He was also the man I lost my virginity too. We lived next door to each other on uni res (university residential for those not used to Aussie slang). He thought I was a gorgeous woman in my 20s (I was only 17, about to turn 18). I thought he was an old loser (he was 25 turning 26), with floppy hair (we  nicknamed him Lyle Lovett behind closed doors), a big nose and a noisy bloody motorbike that used to wake me up in the wee hours (mainly after one too many glasses of cask wine….Hey; I was a student – no judgement). He was wearing mambo shorts and no shirt the day I popped over searching for my friends. I realised then and there I wanted him; I had the worst crush on him, and was convinced he’d never like me back as I had turned him down earlier in the year. I was wrong – one night a group of us had a BBQ which ended with us all jumping into the pool fully clothed. I headed home to get my flatmates and he followed. I didn’t even see it coming when pashed me on my front door step and I was hooked.

suits

#2 Tim. The first time I saw Tim I thought he was a gangly nerd. He was tall, over 6 ft, with glasses and overlong hair. The first time I really saw him was my 22 birthday; he made me laugh so hard and was concerned that I was having an asthma attack (I was but I didn’t want to go home – I was having too much fun)! He was wearing brown chinos, a black button up shirt, a black zip up jacket and this pair of God awful trainers he wore everywhere… He’d taken a mutual gay friend shopping with him as he wanted to impress me.  We dated for over 6 years. We didn’t even kiss until we’d been dating for over 4 weeks, I moved into his place after just 3 months of dating; and at 5.5 years we seriously talked marriage, family and our future. We looked at rings (I wanted at least a carat solitaire…Oh my how things have changed now; my taste is a lot less flashy and more subtle/classic) and he asked my parents for their blessing. Then a few months later we looked at buying a house together and I asked if it meant a step towards a future:

Him: “We’re not getting engaged anytime soon”

Me: “Well then why buy a house?”

He finally admitted he loved me but didn’t know if he wanted to get married to me.  Less than 2 months later we broke up. Probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done was telling this beautiful man that I loved him but I couldn’t stay as we would end up hating each other – we wanted different things. Sometimes I think back about Tim and wonder would it work a second time round? Then I remember how very different we are, how his family never liked me, how he didn’t really like my big/loud/annoying family, how he didn’t want to marry me, and I know deep down (in my bones) that our time is done.

 

#3 Troy (AKA the breakup from hell). I met him at an industry meeting and don’t recall what he looked like other than he was short and I thought he was interested in me. It was months later when he contacted me via facebook to see what I was up to when our casual industry friendship became something more. I remember the first date – we met at Kirra Beach, Coolangatta. He came running towards me in jeans, flip flops and a checked shirt. I wasn’t too sure if he was attractive to me (he also had an earring in one ear) but we sat down on the beach to have a picnic and he kept looking at me like I was Christmas…So I kissed him.  

 

#4 Manly Matt. We met online at POF.com and text each other for weeks before we agreed to meet up for a drink at Kingscliff. When I first arrived I saw a man with a walking frame and a shaved head ….I already knew what Matt looked like but I thought oh no, all of his photos were of him sitting or leaning over something (and he has a shaved head)…Maybe that’s him with the frame? Then he text me to say he was upstairs. He was wearing jeans, a Billabong t-shirt, flip flops and a big smile. I thought he was cute and sweet. He made me laugh and we flirted with our eyes all the way through the date. When we parted ways he didn’t kiss me – just told me we should do it again sometime.

And now my heart is a little sad again x

escape

The first time #firsttime #babymac

my name is earlI was inspired today by a post from the fabulous Beth over at BabyMac. She asked us to comment about the first time we saw the one we loved….As I’m currently on man ban (but my heart is in a better place this week) I thought I’d walk you down memory lane and tell you about those men I’ve loved (and who lost me ha ha). So in order of when I met them here they are….

#1 Cameron. He was my first real boyfriend. He was also the man I lost my virginity too. We lived next door to each other on uni res (university residential for those not used to Aussie slang). He thought I was a gorgeous woman in my 20s (I was only 17, about to turn 18). I thought he was an old loser (he was 25 turning 26), with floppy hair (we  nicknamed him Lyle Lovett behind closed doors), a big nose and a noisy bloody motorbike that used to wake me up in the wee hours (mainly after one too many glasses of cask wine….Hey; I was a student – no judgement). He was wearing mambo shorts and no shirt the day I popped over searching for my friends. I realised then and there I wanted him; I had the worst crush on him, and was convinced he’d never like me back as I had turned him down earlier in the year. I was wrong – one night a group of us had a BBQ which ended with us all jumping into the pool fully clothed. I headed home to get my flatmates and he followed. I didn’t even see it coming when pashed me on my front door step and I was hooked.

suits

#2 Tim. The first time I saw Tim I thought he was a gangly nerd. He was tall, over 6 ft, with glasses and overlong hair. The first time I really saw him was my 22 birthday; he made me laugh so hard and was concerned that I was having an asthma attack (I was but I didn’t want to go home – I was having too much fun)! He was wearing brown chinos, a black button up shirt, a black zip up jacket and this pair of God awful trainers he wore everywhere… He’d taken a mutual gay friend shopping with him as he wanted to impress me.  We dated for over 6 years. We didn’t even kiss until we’d been dating for over 4 weeks, I moved into his place after just 3 months of dating; and at 5.5 years we seriously talked marriage, family and our future. We looked at rings (I wanted at least a carat solitaire…Oh my how things have changed now; my taste is a lot less flashy and more subtle/classic) and he asked my parents for their blessing. Then a few months later we looked at buying a house together and I asked if it meant a step towards a future:

Him: “We’re not getting engaged anytime soon”

Me: “Well then why buy a house?”

He finally admitted he loved me but didn’t know if he wanted to get married to me.  Less than 2 months later we broke up. Probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done was telling this beautiful man that I loved him but I couldn’t stay as we would end up hating each other – we wanted different things. Sometimes I think back about Tim and wonder would it work a second time round? Then I remember how very different we are, how his family never liked me, how he didn’t really like my big/loud/annoying family, how he didn’t want to marry me, and I know deep down (in my bones) that our time is done.

 

#3 Troy (AKA the breakup from hell). I met him at an industry meeting and don’t recall what he looked like other than he was short and I thought he was interested in me. It was months later when he contacted me via facebook to see what I was up to when our casual industry friendship became something more. I remember the first date – we met at Kirra Beach, Coolangatta. He came running towards me in jeans, flip flops and a checked shirt. I wasn’t too sure if he was attractive to me (he also had an earring in one ear) but we sat down on the beach to have a picnic and he kept looking at me like I was Christmas…So I kissed him.  

 

#4 Manly Matt. We met online at POF.com and text each other for weeks before we agreed to meet up for a drink at Kingscliff. When I first arrived I saw a man with a walking frame and a shaved head ….I already knew what Matt looked like but I thought oh no, all of his photos were of him sitting or leaning over something (and he has a shaved head)…Maybe that’s him with the frame? Then he text me to say he was upstairs. He was wearing jeans, a Billabong t-shirt, flip flops and a big smile. I thought he was cute and sweet. He made me laugh and we flirted with our eyes all the way through the date. When we parted ways he didn’t kiss me – just told me we should do it again sometime.

And now my heart is a little sad again x

escape

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